Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Homer: Could I get a beer?
Moe: Oh yeah, sure.... oh sorry, I forgot we're out of beer.
Homer: Aaaaaah!
Moe: Oh I know, I got behind on my beer payment, the distributor cut me off, and I spent my last ten grand on the love tester. (Homer sucks the taps). It's too late Homer, Barney sucked it dry.

It passed the first test...I didn't go blind.

Homer

Collette: Barkeep, I couldn't help noticing your sign.
Moe: What, the one that says 'Bartenders do it till you barf'?

Well It's hard to say, He may have come up with the recipe, but I came up with the idea of charging $6.95 for it.

Moe

Homer: You just lost yourself a customer!
Moe: Wha? I'm sorry, Homer I couldn't hear you
Homer: I said you just lost yourself a customer!
Moe: Huh?
Homer: You just lost yourself a customer!
Moe: Homer you're going to have to speak up!
Homer: You just lost yourself a customer, Moe!
Moe: I've forced myself to wha?
Homer: You just lost yourself a customer!
Moe: Homer.. I'll talk to you tomorrow!
Homer: You just lost yourself a customer!
Moe: Yeah you can use it!

Homer: Moe...Moe...Moe.
Marge: Bart, are you going to Moe the lawn today?
Bart: Okay, but you promised me Moe money.
Marge:I Moe, I Moe!
Homer: Moe...Moe...Moe.
Lisa: When Bart's done, can we Moe to the Moevies? There's a Moetinee.
Marge: Of course, All work and Moe play makes Moe a Moe Moe.
Bart: Moemomoemoe?
Marge: Momomoemoe!
Lisa: Moememoemoemoe!
Bart: Momomomoe.

Business is slow. People today are healthier and drinking less. You know, if it wasn't for the junior high school next door, no one would even use the cigarette machine.

Moe

Barney: Hey, what's this?
Moe: A sneeze guard.
Barney: (sneezes) Wow, it really works!

How could you do this to me Moe? This bar was going under and it was my drink that saved it. If there was any justice, my face would be on a bunch of crappy merchandise.

Homer

Homer: Ah my new watering hole. (goes inside, barman pulls a shotgun on him)
Barman: Whadda you want?
Homer: A beer!
Barman: Okay then. (gives him a beer in a filthy glass)
Homer: Can I have a clean glass? (barman cleans glass)
Barman: (annoyed) Here you go, your majesty!

Marge: Well, Homer, maybe you can get some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy.
Homer: Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! (slams the door, then put his head back round) Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.
Marge: Well, duh!

Homer: Where's that waitress of yours?
Moe: Oh, she left to pursue a movie career. Frankly, I think she was better off here.

Displaying quotes 289 - 300 of 489 in total

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes

I'll make a wish that can't backfire! I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it! (Homer eats)... Mmm, not bad, nice hot mustard, good bread, turkeys a little dry... THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY!!!

Homer

Horst: (Sinister) Okay, Mr. Burns, you win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Mr. Burns: (Sarcastic) Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! (Hiding behind Smithers) Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
Horst: Stop it!
Man: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
Man: Please stop the "pretending you are scared" game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: (Pause) No! They're so big and strong!
Man: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Man: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans--
Horst: Burns, Stop it!

x Close Ad