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The-simpsons

(after drinking the Flaming Homer) Wow, Homer, it's like there's a party in my mouth and everybody's invited!

Moe

The Flaming Moe is not for sale. Do you know how much of my blood and sweat are in this drink? (everybody in the bar spits out their drink) Uh, figure of speech.

Moe

The inventor I admire is not a rich man or a famous man or even a smart man. He's my father, Homer Simpson.

Bart

Mayor Quimby: Henceforth, this date shall forever be known as Flaming Moe's Day!
Advisor: Uh, sir, this is already Veterans' Day.
Mayor Quimby: It can be two things!

Holy Cow! Homer just fell on Aerosmith!

Barney

Flaming Moe's Theme Song
When the weight of the world has got you down,
And you want to end your life,
Bills to pay, a dead-end job,
And problems with the wife.
But don't throw in the towel,
'Cuz there's a place right down the block
Where you can drink your misery away
At Flaming Moe's (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's)
When liquor in a mug (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's)
Can warm you like a hug. (Flaming Moe's)
And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away
Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away

Bart: My father invented that drink, and if you'll allow me to demonstrate...
Edna: Bart, are those liquor bottles?
Bart: Um...yes
Edna: Take them to the teacher's lounge. You can have what's left after school.

According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is...Love?! Who's been screwing with this thing?

Professor Frink

Jeepers, Mary, and Joseph! Sleep with a chick once and it costs me half a million bananas!

Moe

Moe: Flaming Moe's.
Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass. First name Hugh.
Moe: Uh, hold on, I'll check. (Calling) Hugh Jass! Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!
Hugh: Uh, I'm Hugh Jass.
Moe: Telephone. (Hands over the receiver)
Hugh: Hello, this is Hugh Jass.
Bart: (Surprised) Uh, hi.
Hugh: Who's this?
Bart: Bart Simpson.
Hugh: Well, what can I do for you, Bart?
Bart: Uh, look, I'll level with you, Mister. This is a crank call that sort of backfired, and I'd like to bail out right now.
Hugh: All right. Better luck next time. (hangs up) What a nice young man.

Steven Tyler: Hello St. Loooooooouiiiiiis!
Joe Perry: Actually Steven, it's Springfield.
Steven Tyler: Right, right.

Homer: What is it boy? Is anything the matter my son? Talk to me young man..... say your name? Why should I do that my lad?
Bart: Because I'm jinxed dammit! (Homer punches him) Ow! What was that for?
Homer: You spoke while you were jinxed so I got to punch you in the arm!

Displaying quotes 277 - 288 of 489 in total

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes

Horst: (Sinister) Okay, Mr. Burns, you win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Mr. Burns: (Sarcastic) Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! (Hiding behind Smithers) Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
Horst: Stop it!
Man: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
Man: Please stop the "pretending you are scared" game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: (Pause) No! They're so big and strong!
Man: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Man: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans--
Horst: Burns, Stop it!

(After Homer rejects other names for boys based on rhyming nicknames)
Marge: What about Bart?
Homer: Let's see. Bart, dart, cart, e-art. Nope can't see any problems with that.
(Missing fart due to only 4 fingers)

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