[to Tyler] If Matt dies, are you going to start peeing on fire hydrants again?

Caroline

Damon: Eh, a hundred and fifty years is a long time to care.
Elena: Says the guy who pined for Katherine Pierce for a century and a half.

Lily: I took your advice and I've been dabbling on Stefan's computer. What a wondrous invention -- all that knowledge.
Damon: And videos of cats riding robot vacuum cleaners.

[to Elena] You're lucky you're adorable because your eternal optimism is super annoying.

Damon

Jo: I'm marrying an idiot. You could have died today.
Alaric: As opposed to any other day?

It must be so exhausting overthinking everything, denying your own urge to kill and just be done with them.

Stefan

Elena: [to Lily] You've been in here for over a century.
Damon: Yeah, I would've come by sooner but I thought you were safe and sound in the family crypt. My bad.

Lily: Damon?
Damon: Hello, mother.

Jo: I've thought about it and anyone named Alaric should not be allowed to name another human.
Alaric: I didn't name me!

[to Caroline] You are an embarrassment to humanity-free vampires everywhere.

Stefan

Stefan: Neat, organized Caroline staying within the lines. Good at control, terrible at revenge.
Caroline: I dismantled your bike.
Stefan: I tore your director's head off with my teeth.

Elena: Is this presentable attire by 1903 standards?
Damon: Whoa, who said you were coming?
Elena: To meet the woman who gave birth to the two epic loves of my life? Me.

Vampire Diaries Quotes

Elena: Why don't you ever let anyone see the good in you?
Damon: When people see good they expect good. And I don't wanna live up to anyone's expectations.

You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena.

Damon