I haven't had any pride since the gym showers in seventh grade.

Alan

• Permalink: I haven't had any pride since the gym showers in seventh grade.
• Added: November 21, 2011

I can't possibly produce enough sperm or blood to get myself out of the hole i'm in.

Alan

• Permalink: I can't possibly produce enough sperm or blood to get myself out...
• Added: November 21, 2011

In the dating game, wedding rings are like kryptonite. If superman was a vagina.

Alan

• Permalink: In the dating game, wedding rings are like kryptonite. If super...
• Added: November 21, 2011

Walden: Your son makes one heck of a wingman.
Jake: You make it easy boss.

• Permalink: Your son makes one heck of a wingman. You make it easy boss.
• Added: November 21, 2011