Two and a Half Men "Avoid the Chinese Mustard" Quotes
Jake: I am 18 and in the army, you can tell me what to do.
Alan: You are using the excuse that you are in the army not to go back to the army.
• Rating: Unrated
Jake: I cannot imagine being with anyone else.
Alan: I know that feeling, you fall head over heels, and then suddenly you find yourself in a loveless marriage with a soul-sucking shrew.
Jake: You realize you are talking about my mother?
• Rating: Unrated
Whitney: Wow, that is a lot of zeros. So are you really a genius and philanthropist?
Walden: Yes, I also fight crime.
• Rating: Unrated
Walden: What are you doing here? No one goes to libraries anymore.
Whitney: It is the only place where I can go where strange men do not hit on me.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 4