Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Jake: I cannot imagine being with anyone else.
Alan: I know that feeling, you fall head over heels, and then suddenly you find yourself in a loveless marriage with a soul-sucking shrew.
Jake: You realize you are talking about my mother?


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Alan Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 10 Episode 7 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 10 Episode 7 Quotes

Walden: What are you doing here? No one goes to libraries anymore.
Whitney: It is the only place where I can go where strange men do not hit on me.

Whitney: Wow, that is a lot of zeros. So are you really a genius and philanthropist?
Walden: Yes, I also fight crime.