Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Alan: Oh, what's to become of my son?
Charlie: Don't worry, Alan, there'll always be carnivals.

Alan: You have to forget about her, Charlie.
Charlie: (holding bottle of liquor) I know, that's why I got me some milk of amnesia.

He said in the whole world I'm the only one that can move him.

Rose

Alan: What happens if her husband catches you?
Charlie: Then he shoots me and you can have my house and car.
Alan: Go to her, Charlie. She's waiting!

Rose: He doesn't even know you exist and I plan on keeping it that way.
Charlie: How is that possible? What about the tattoo?
Rose: I had glasses added to it and told him it was Harry Potter.

Alan: What about her tattoo of you on her left butt cheek?
Charlie: I wish she hadn't done that. After she takes a hot bath I start to look like Edward James Olmos.

What's up Mccallen? We can grow old together. You're only 20 and I doubt you're gonna make it to 21.

Charlie
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Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 14 Quotes

Alan: What about her tattoo of you on her left butt cheek?
Charlie: I wish she hadn't done that. After she takes a hot bath I start to look like Edward James Olmos.

What's up Mccallen? We can grow old together. You're only 20 and I doubt you're gonna make it to 21.

Charlie