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Alan: Then we went skinny dipping. Who's idea was that?
Berta: Mine.

Walden: I think we're naked.
Alan: You can ignore what's going on down there, it's morning reflex.

Begging never gets you anywhere. I say this having spent more time on my knees than any straight man in America.


When i was in high school, I was dating a poster of Molly Ringwald.


You're young, you're rich, you got a face that gives women an erection.

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