Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Okay, I'll tell him to keep his hands off Myra. And then, I'll tell the rain not to fall, the Earth not to spin and you to stop nagging me.

Alan [talking about Charlie to Judith on the phone]

Charlie: What are you talking about? This is just an alimony check.
Alan: Not an alimony check, this is my final alimony check... isn't it beautiful?

Charlie [after telling Myra she could stay in his house to get away from Judith and hearing her screaming "Herb" from the bedroom]: Do you wanna come too?
Herb: Are you nuts? With Myra out of the house I might get lucky tonight.
Charlie: Really? She seems pretty angry.
Herb: It's better when she's angry

You know your problem? Phone cohones! When you're on the phone with her, you've got boulders between your legs. The minute you hang up, you're as smooth as a Ken doll

Berta

Myra: Charlie, I don't want to put any pressure on you, but ...I'm a virgin.
Charlie: You are?
Myra: Man, you've got to stop sleeping with dumb girls. It's rubbing off on you

So, how does this work? Do you get your original testicles back or does my brother give you his?

Myra [to Alan about Herb]
Displaying all 6 quotes

Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 19 Quotes

Myra: Charlie, I don't want to put any pressure on you, but ...I'm a virgin.
Charlie: You are?
Myra: Man, you've got to stop sleeping with dumb girls. It's rubbing off on you

So, how does this work? Do you get your original testicles back or does my brother give you his?

Myra [to Alan about Herb]
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