Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 16: "Young People Have Phlegm Too" Quotes
Alan: What do you want from me? I-- I went out to the club, I went to the after-hours club, I went out to breakfast! I held my date's hair while she vomited pancakes in the parking lot!
Charlie: Well, if you weren't whining about wanting to go home, you'd be having sex with her right now.
Alan: Oh, darn. What man doesn't dream of kissing second-hand pancakes?
It seems like yesterday I could party all night and eat and drink anything I wanted to. Now, a couple of Red Bulls and a waffle and I'm sittin' in the emergency room, prayin' for a fartCharlie
Dr. Prajneep: The good news is that you are a perfectly healthy 50-year-old man.
Charlie: I'm only 40!
Dr. Prajneep: Tell that to your liver
The day you start accepting limitations is the day you start dying, and I am not dying, my friend. I am living life to the fullest. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go throw up and take a napCharlie
Berta [on Charlie]: I wish you could have seen him in his prime. He was like Babe Ruth.
Jake: He played baseball?
Berta: No, he was a drunken whore-monger
Alan: Let's face it, we're both too old for the MTV-lifestyle.
Charlie: MTV? Did they just defrost you?!
Let me tell you something, Alan, you're only as young as the women you feel... and lately, I've been feeling about 24.Charlie