I fought an 8-year-old! And the only reason I won is because he fell on a spike!

Billy Quizboy

• Permalink: I fought an 8-year-old! And the only reason I won is because he...
• Rating: Unrated

Shore Leave: Boys night out? I wish. You guys are going to that strip club again.
Hunters Gathers: You make that wholesome place sound dirty.

• Permalink: Boys night out? I wish. You guys are going to that strip club ...
• Rating: Unrated

All of you have been assigned nicknames, while I have not, because I am special! All of you are in peculiar underpants, while I am not, because I am special!

General Treister

• Permalink: All of you have been assigned nicknames, while I have not, becau...
• Rating: Unrated

Action Johnny: Hey, how are those balls doing, Rust?
Dr. Venture: Spirit is up and roving, but opportunity hasn't come back on-line yet.

• Permalink: Hey, how are those balls doing, Rust? Spirit is up and roving,...
• Rating: Unrated

You can't collect scientists and not have a Rusty Venture on your mantel.

Dr. Venture

• Permalink: You can't collect scientists and not have a Rusty Venture on you...
• Rating: Unrated

Dr. Z: So, a snake kills your psychiatrist, and you fly all the way down here in the middle of the night to beat up an old man because of a matchbook.
Dale Hale: Yeah, sounds kind of sloppy when you say it.

• Permalink: So, a snake kills your psychiatrist, and you fly all the way dow...
• Rating: Unrated

They seem to have already discovered the fleshy jig of the mommy and daddy dance

The Monarch

• Permalink: They seem to have already discovered the fleshy jig of the mommy...
• Rating: Unrated

Johnny [about Dr. Venture]: I'm the old one, but he looks like he could be my dad.
Dr. Venture: That's because you have more chemical preservatives than a twinkie, and don't try and tell me that's not a weave.

• Permalink: I'm the old one, but he looks like he could be my dad. That's ...
• Rating: Unrated

I wasn't allowed to wear long pants until I went to college, is it any wonder I was a virgin until my twenties?

Dr. Venture

• Permalink: I wasn't allowed to wear long pants until I went to college, is ...
• Rating: Unrated

Torrid's a dick. Who does that? Who opens up Hell? Honestly?

Jefferson Twilight

• Permalink: Torrid's a d**k. Who does that? Who opens up Hell? Honestly?
• Rating: Unrated

Dr. Orpheus: The time is now! Triad, join me! For I am Dr. Orpheus! Master of Mysticism!
The Alchemist: I don't want to do that introducing ourselves bit. It's goofy. let's not die being goofy.
Jefferson Twilight: I'm with Al. Maybe we could sing a Stevie Wonder song together.
The Alchemist: Yeah, that's not much better.

• Permalink: The time is now! Triad, join me! For I am Dr. Orpheus! Master of...
• Rating: Unrated

Jefferson Twilight: Score?
The Alchemist: 85%.
Jefferson Twilight: Get out! Where did I blow it?
The Alchemist: Well, for one, you killed Matthew Lasko.
Jefferson Twilight: That was... well, he was wearing punctuation on his suit. That's a total bad-guy suit!
The Alchemist: He helps people get free money from the government. That is a good guy. It's reflected in your score.

• Permalink: Score? 85%. Get out! Where did I blow it? Well, for one, y...
• Rating: Unrated