Favorite Weeds Quotes
College Girl: What?
Silas: Nothing I just love college so much.
Esteban: Our son will be baptized by a priest in a church
Nancy: Sorry, he's Jewish. Snip, snip. Eat fish. Start saving for law school
Andy [about Audra]: She likes me
Gale: She's gonna burn in hell for all eternity
Andy: Well I'd rather laugh with the sinners, Gale
Gale: For now...
Conrad Shepard: You calling black people stupid?
Nancy Botwin: And lazy... and they also steal.
Heylia James: Yeah, but we sings and we dances real good.
Dean: My rate is five hundred dollars an hour
Doug: Wooo... that better include a rim job
Nancy: (sees Shane get knocked down on soccer field) Foul! Ref, what's the matter with your whistle?!
Celia: Well, technically, Nancy, the Ref can't call a foul. Shane was kicked by his own teammates.
Shane: I got sent to the school shrink. They'll probably be calling you.
Nancy: Oh, not again, why this time.
Shane: I wrote a gangsta rap about killing Devon Rensler ... with my gatt.
Shane: Why don't you sell something people want.
Celia: Like what?
Shane: Like drugs.
Shane Botwin: Can we go home now, please?
Nancy: It's not even halftime.
Shane: I don't feel well. I think I have rickets.
Andy: Esteban seems like the type to just throw you on the table and f-ck you.
Nancy: That works, too.
Andy: See, we'd never have worked. I'm not rape-y enough for you.
Andy, on his sexual technique: The key is to focus on where the sidewalk ends.
Nancy: I know. I'm a girl.
Shane: Do you think I'm weird?
Judah: Totally weird, but you're awesome. Αnd I wouldn't trade you in for any other almost-10-year-old on earth.
Shane: What if there's life on other planets and there's an unbelievable, amazing 10-year old out there?
Judah: Why would I trade now? To me, you're the best dude, you are the amazing unbelievable Shane Botwin.
