Don't make me get all Pilar on your ass.

Shane

• Permalink: Shane; Don't make me get all Pilar on your ass.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

I love that you sleep all the time - I know mother's aren't supposed to say that, but i do.

Nancy

• Permalink: I love that you sleep all the time - I know mother's aren't supp...
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Silas: What the?
Store Clerk: (referring to her vampire puncture marks on her neck) I'm the chosen one of Warrior Griffin.
Silas: Cool...

• Permalink: What the? I'm the chosen one of Warrior Griffin. Cool.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Silas: You missed a spot.
Andy: Back off Reading Rainbow.

• Permalink: You missed a spot. Back off Reading Rainbow.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

He peed on my pee - we crossed streams.

Andy

• Permalink: He peed on my pee - we crossed streams.
• Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Nancy: I like it here.
Andy: You got laid.
Nancy: I want to stay here for a while.

• Permalink: I like it here. You got laid. I want to stay here for a wh...
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

I'm a mother lion and you can't defeat a mother lion when you've threaten her cubs.

Nancy

• Permalink: I'm a mother lion and you can't defeat a mother lion when you've...
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Silas: I love her.
Celia: You stuck your penis in her. That's not love, believe me.

• Permalink: I love her. You stuck your penis in her. That's not love, beli...
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Retiring for motherhood? I knew something had to give.

Andy

• Permalink: Retiring for motherhood? I knew something had to give.
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

It's also racist to assume all Asians are bad drivers, but they are.

Nancy

• Permalink: It's also racist to assume all Asians are bad drivers, but they ...
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Une M're Que J'aimerias Baiser. It's french, for MILF.

Nancy

• Permalink: Une M're Que J'aimerias Baiser. It's french, for MILF.
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

College Girl: What?
Silas: Nothing I just love college so much.

• Permalink: What? Nothing I just love college so much.
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0