Favorite Wilfred Quotes
Ryan: Another Hillary Swank dream?
Wilfred: She was wearing a g-string in this one. Ryan it was so real.
Ryan, anger is like herpes. You're not meant to keep it to yourself.
Having fun, Ryan? Just another lazy Sunday watching porn with your lazy, rock hard neighbor.
Wilfred: Do you know what this is?
Ryan: Let me guess, the length of my dick?
Wilfred: No, it's the amount of compassion you've shown towards your mum...and the length of your dick. They happened to be equal in this case. It doesn't happen often, but it's pretty cool when this shit lines up. Like an eclipse.
Jenna: Wilfred pooped on your lawn.
Wilfred: There is symbolism in that poop Ryan...and some grass...and half a slipper.
Well, what have we here? And what is that thing above them with the mouth and eyes?
I've seen more aggressive ball playing in an airport men's room.
It said "wake up," which is weird because I read somewhere that people can't read while they're dreaming.
Ryan
I got it. It wasn't a homo chip. It was a glowing orb of gayness brought here by aliens that you summoned...
What did you do with my hair? I distinctly remember leaving it right here, all over the place.
Ryan: I killed him.
Wilfred: Oh, that's a relief.
Sometimes when I look at you, I can almost see a 10-foot tampon string hanging out of you.
