Favorite Wilfred Quotes
Well, what have we here? And what is that thing above them with the mouth and eyes?
See what I did there? I got super tired, stopped running, and started dry heaving. I've gotta not do that.
Favorite music, all types. This chick must be like an expert in music.
Ryan: Did you eat my sandwich?
Wilfred: Because I'm a dog, right? I can only imagine what you'd say if I was black.
Ryan: I killed him.
Wilfred: Oh, that's a relief.
My friend, I feel great shame for accusing you unjustly. I will not sleep well tonight, but tomorrow during the day I'll take a long nap.
Mr. Patel
Ryan: Why would people assume that I'm the thief?
Wilfred: Really? You're still not getting this? You're the twitchy loner, the pasty neighborhood creep. And that's not me talking, that's Mrs. Patel.
I once cracked a Nazi skin head in the face with a beer bong, and you know what he did to me? Belly rub.
What did you do with my hair? I distinctly remember leaving it right here, all over the place.
I got it. It wasn't a homo chip. It was a glowing orb of gayness brought here by aliens that you summoned...
I have a strict policy against taking any drug that's not illegal. They're never strong enough.
But Jenna's put a lot of work into this. She even took me to the groomer. Thanks for noticing by the way.
