(Camera cuts to Quagmire and three girls)
Quagmire: ...So the man asks the bartender to recommend a good drink, and the bartender says a grasshopper. So the guy orders a grasshopper. Then, he's walkin' home, and along the way he notices a grasshopper on the ground. So he says to the grasshopper, "Hey, you know there's a drink named after you?" and the grasshopper says "You mean there's a drink named Irving?"
(Quagmire and the girls all laugh)
Quagmire: So which one of you wants to lose your virginity?

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Glenn Quagmire Quotes, Family Guy Season 5 Episode 10 Quotes, Family Guy Quotes
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Family Guy Season 5 Episode 10 Quotes

Pilot: Welcome to Ireland, we'll be landing in 5 minutes.
Peter: This is quite a country, Brian. You know Ireland has more drunks per capita than people.
Brian: Oh that's a negative stereotype. I don't think the Irish drink as much as people say they do.
(Plane lands on runway covered entirely in empty beer bottles)

Francis: (laying in hospital bed) Peter, come closer. There's something..I need to say to you.
Peter: I'm here dad, what is it?
Francis: Peter..you're a fat stinking drunk. (dies)