I put the hippopotamus to bed.

I'm sort of a softy sometimes. I'm a sensitive dude.

I'm hooking up with this girl, your girl's girl, and your girlfriend's girlfriend's girlfriend. Somebody's gotta do it.

You need to on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA ... say that 5 times fast.

Ronnie doesn't want to give up his cookie, and that's Sam. You need to give up your cookie, son, so you can go find another one. I'm eatin' chocolate chip cookies every night, dog.

Ronnie is feeding steaming ALPO to Sam, on a plate, 'cause he's doggin' her so much.

Ron is the President of the I-double-F.

At one point I splashed water on my face and I realized ... We got grenades! We are in the midst of grenades.

I think Sammi has an idea, but she just doesn't want to believe it. It all dates back to when you thought the Tooth Fairy was, you know, alive.

The Situation: Can I place an order?
Delivery guy: What's the name?
The Situation: Situation.
Delivery guy: Name?
The Situation: Yeah. Situation. S-i-t-u-a-t-i-o-n.
Delivery guy: Whatever man, what's your order?

The whole Sammi-Ronnie situation? Not a good situation.

We have an abundance of wife beaters ... and we wear them before we got out before it's T-shirt time. Right before we go out we take off the tank and then we put on our fresh shirt.

Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino Quotes

I'm hooking up with my girl. Pauly is hooking up with his girl. And we're going to have sex. That's the situation.

Mike (The Situation)

I'm like, chill out, Freckles McGee.

Mike