Family Guy

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Brian: The thing is, Meg is becoming a little enamored with me, and I'm kind of losing control of the situation.Lois: Oh she's just grateful you took her to the dance.Brain: Well, uhhh, I..I think its more than that..uhh..so here's the thing..and don't get mad and that part I can't stress enough, that's a great shirt by the way...ummm I may have made out with Meg..(Lois pauses then punches Brian)Brian: (rubbing his nose) Ok I had that coming.Lois: (furious) What the hell is wrong with you, you sick bastard!Brian: (getting to his feet) Look I was drinking..Lois: (sarcastically) Ohhh, what a shock!Brian: (sarcastic laugh) Look the short version is, this morning she made me eat the hair in her pie..(Lois punches Brian again)Brian: (getting up from the ground) No its not what you think, Stewie had some too..(Lois punches Brian again)Brian: (annoyed) Stop punching me!


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Family Guy Season 5 Episode 8 Quotes

Quagmire: What are you doing?
Joe: I'm watching Bonnie undress.
Cleveland: Bonnie's your wife.
Joe: I like to watch her strip, and pretend she's a total stranger who looks exactly like my wife and lives in my house. Get naked, you strange whore!!

Brian: Look, you obviously didn't hear me yesterday, so I'll explain it again. And here to assist me is headmaster of the New York School for the Hard-of-Hearing, Mr. Garrett Morris.
(a live-action shot of Garrett Morris appears between the two)
Brian: Meg, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend.
Garrett: (shouts) We're not boyfriend and girlfriend!
Brian: I will never be attracted to you.
Garrett: I will never be attracted to you!
Brian: You're acting like a psycho bitch.
Garrett: You're acting like a psycho bitch!
Brian: Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Garrett: Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow!
(Brian leaves)
Meg: I won't be ignored, Brian!
Garrett: (looks at her) Hmm. I like your ass.