Thanks, Elliot. Really. But that's a load of crap, because nobod...

J.D.: Thanks, Elliot. Really. But that's a load of crap, because nobody is themselves when they start dating. Dating is just acting like you're somebody you're not until the person likes you enough so you can show 'em who you really are.
Elliot: No, it's not.
J.D.: What do you call that bra you wore for your date last week?
Elliot: Oh, the Miracle Lift Super Push-Up bra? But not everyone's as insecure as me.
J.D.: Carla, when you first started dating Turk, didn't you tell him you loved watching NBA basketball every weekend?
Carla: Yeah.
J.D.: And how many games have you watched since he proposed?
Carla: One. But only because that time he made me choose between watching basketball or having sex.


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Characters:
J.D., Carla Espinosa, Elliot Reid
Episode:
Scrubs Season 4 Episode 16: "My Quarantine"
Show:
Scrubs
Related Quotes:
J.D. Quotes, Carla Espinosa Quotes, Elliot Reid Quotes, Scrubs Season 4 Episode 16 Quotes, Scrubs Quotes
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Scrubs Season 4 Episode 16 Quotes

Now, keep an eye on the bum's vitals. I gave him enough sedative to put down a rhino.

J.D.

Kylie: Let's go.
J.D.: Kylie, wait. I paid Steve fifty bucks and an I.O.U. for another hundred and twenty to fake a heart attack. I just-I really wanted tonight to go well.
Kylie: Is there anything else?
Danni: Adios, assface.
J.D.: I had sex with her. A lot.
Kylie: Why are you telling me this?
J.D.: If I don't come clean now, whether it's a few weeks or months or years from now, I know it's gonna come back to haunt me and ruin us, and I don't want that.
Kylie: I'm not looking for a project.
J.D.: Yeah... I understand. It's...
Kylie: So get it together. Now let's go get some coffee.

  1. Quotes
  2. Thanks, Elliot. Really. But that's a load of crap, because nobod...