Today, Springfield will experience a rare total eclipse of the s...
Kent Brockman: Today, Springfield will experience a rare total eclipse of the sun. A solar eclipse is like a woman breast-feeding in a restaurant. It's free, it's beautiful, but under no circumstances should you look at it. We recommend using a homemade "camera obscura", fashioned from an ordinary shoebox and paper towel tube.
(Kent reaches under his desk and pulls out an unmade camera obscura)
Kent Brockman: (fuming) This... was supposed to be pre-made. Fine, I'll do it myself. Where's the end of the frickin' tape?! Forget it! We'll do it next week!
Cameraman: (off-screen) The eclipse is today.
Kent Brockman: (shouting) There's an eclipse when I say there's an eclipse!