Californication

Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication
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Quotes

Recap

Hank assumes he's going to have a peaceful night at home skyping with Karen. But when Jackie rings the doorbell with two stripper friends and a bottle of Jack, his night turns into something else entirely. Only, it's not until morning that things get really crazy.

Hank wakes up to find his bed full of naked strippers. It turns out that while he partied like a good host, he slept solo. They were celebrating Jackie's last dance - she's quitting stripping and going to try this whole writing thing. She says she quit for him - this makes Hank rather uncomfortable, but Jackie doesn't really see them breaking up still.

Karen calls to make sure Becca made it to school after spending the night at Chelsea's, but their phone call is interrupted by Jackie yelling for Hank. Hank tells Karen it's the new maid calling him. One of Jackie's friends won't wake up. Before they can decide what to do with her, the doorbell rings.

It's Charlie Runkle with Rick Springfield. Apparently they had arranged to have a look at Hank's Porsche for a potential sale. Since there are more pressing issues involving a passed-out stripper, they offer to "help." The group is confined to the master bedroom when the doorbell rings again...

Jill shows up at the door all bright-eyed and bushy tailed. She has a confession. She's accepting Hank for who he is because she loves him. She then drops her trench coat to reveal her naked body in his kitchen. Before he can respond, the doorbell rings again, and Jill is escorted to hide in Becca's room.

It's Felicia at the door - also glowing this morning, reliving her night of passion with Hank. She tells Hank that she informed Stacey that she cheated on him with Hank. She wants to leave Stacey and she tells Hank she wants to  be with him. Charlie interrupts this moment, coming out of the bedroom in his underwear to get some butter from the fridge. He introduces himself and slips back into the bedroom. Hank is curious and slips away from Felicia for a moment to see what the hell is going on in his bedroom. 

It turns out that Charlie and Rick's offer to help turns into tag-teaming Jackie's conscious friend. Jackie is peacefully reading "Mia's" book on the patio and reminds Hank that their "boyfriend-girlfriend" discussion is not over. Only they can't talk at the moment since it seems that one more person has stopped by for a visit this morning...

Stacey Koons is standing in the kitchen. He's not angry with Hank - he just wants to understand his power over women. He confesses that their sex life has been lackluster, just as Felicia reveals herself from under the kitchen table to jump into the discussion. Stacey thinks they can work things out in therapy, with Hank's attendance, of course, but Felicia has other plans. She's in love with Hank, and Stacey asks Hank point blank if he's also in love with her - but Hank can't give them a straight answer, and eventually he's saved by the next set of visitors: Becca and Chelsea.

Becca came back home before school to pick up a text book. She finds a naked Jill in her bedroom. So now Felicia and Jill know about each other. Just as the tension is at its highest, the smoke alarm goes off in the master bedroom and all the clowns roll out. Rick had been pouring hot wax on the stripper and one of the candles started a fire. Everyone realizes Hank has also been sleeping with Jackie. Hank runs to get the fire extinguisher more to get away from the situation than to put out the fire.

Everyone leaves and Hank is forced to face his daughter Becca.

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Episode Number:
8

Californication Season 3 Episode 8 Quotes

Do you really think a woman wants to go down on a man who just walked in off the tennis courts? Or just came in from a ride? Huh? You think I want to peel off those sweaty bike shorts and go to town? Disgusting!

Felicia

I'm not mad at you. You wouldn't get mad at a big dumb dog for shitting on the rug, would you?

Becca