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Stan gets a new dog, Sparky, who he discovers to be gay.  Sparky, hurt by Stan, runs off and meets Big Gay Al.  Meanwhile, Stan, as quarterback, is trying to concentrate on winning the big South Park football game against Middle Park.

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South Park Season 1 Episode 4 Quotes

Chef: What's the matter Stan, you seem down.
Stan: I just, I can't concentrate because my dog is gay.
Chef: Well, you know what they say. You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.
Mr. Garrison: Oh, stop filling his head with that queer-loving propaganda.
Chef: Say what? You of all people should be sympathetic.
Mr. Garrison: What do you mean?
Chef: Well, you're gay aren't you?
Mr. Garrison: What? What the hell are you talking about? I am not gay.
Chef: Well, you sure do act like it.
Mr. Garrison: I just act that way to get chicks, dumb ass.

Ned: What are we doing here?
Jimbo: Well Ned, we usually kidnap the Middle Park mascot, but this year, we're gonna blow it up!