Station 19 Season 3 Episode 14 Review: The Ghosts That Haunt Me

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Well, the secret's out.

Or more accurately, all of the secrets are out, as Station 19 Season 3 Episode 14 concluded with everyone putting all their cards on the table, whether they wanted to or not.

In a way, it's a clean slate, with everything out in the open, but that also means that everything is now real and can no longer be ignored.

These characters are going to be forced to deal with some very uncomfortable truths, and not everyone's going to be happy about how things play out.

Spaghetti dinner long - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 14

First and foremost, the entirety of Station 19 now knows that Andy and Sullivan are married.

While that should be news for celebration, it just felt uncomfortable as Sullivan seemingly outed him and Andy without Andy's permission.

Sure, the argument could be made that Andy lost that right to her privacy when she told Jack or when Sullivan told Ben or Dixon, but it still feels like something the newlyweds should have discussed.

Andy, though, didn't have any regrets about marrying Sullivan until people started finding out.

Andy married - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 12

She was just happy to have married the man she loved and for her father to walk her down the aisle and be there to witness that momentous occasion.

The marriage also ensured Andy wouldn't be completely alone when Pruitt finally died, as she would now have a husband by her side to help her through this difficult time.

On paper, all of these reasons seem sound, or at least logical enough for another person to accept.

However, the trouble becomes when those reasons are tested in the real world.

Jack visit - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 13

By telling Jack, Andy was confronted with what another person thought about her decision.

She was forced to reckon with Jack's belief that the marriage was a mistake and had to deal with that head-on.

Jack: We have to get out.
Andy: OK, look at me, look at me. You were right. You were right. It might have been a mistake to marry Sullivan. Come on. It seemed like a good idea. I was mostly thinking about my dad walking me down the aisle before he died, and Diane got inside my head about how I was trying to replace my father, and I was trying to prove her wrong, but somehow I ended up proving her right … I’m scared to even tell people we’re married. Look, I know it’s crazy what we did. And… and they’ll think I just did it out of panic, fear, and grief, but maybe I did. But also, I swear, I did it out of love. I do love him, Jack, but I’m terrified.
Jack: You kinda should be.

She could no longer pretend this wasn't her reality, as she was finally being held accountable for her actions.

It's somewhat like the thought experiment of "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" 

Well, if no one knows that Andy and Sullivan are married, then are they really married?

Sullivandy kiss - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 12

However, now that the truth is out there, Andy is also forced to confront her reasonings for rushing into this.

What may have once seemed like a good idea has become hazier under the opinions of others.

She's now forced to grapple with why she made this decision, and if it is in fact the right one.

She also no longer has the ability to make those determinations privately, as, once again, the secret is out.

Andy dealing - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 13

There's no escape route anymore, as she has passed the point of no return.

She can't decide to quietly annul the marriage, as Jack suggested, and go on her merry way.

Whatever the outcome, her marriage to Sullivan is now on the record, and there's no getting around that.

And as for her marriage, things aren't starting off on the right foot as Andy shared her doubts with Jack over Sullivan.

Granted, she didn't know she had those feelings until talking with Jack, but once she figured out where her head was, Andy should have been discussing those concerns with her husband, not her ex-boyfriend.

Sullivan and Andy - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 14

In addition, Sullivan should have checked with Andy before informing the entire firehouse of their nuptials.

The battalion chief may have not thought it was a big deal at that point, but the couple must have had discussions at some point on who to tell and when.

Ben: You knew you wanted to be a firefighter when you were 7?
Pruitt: The red trucks, the sirens, the suspenders, the boots. I loved it all. How could I be anything else?
Ben: Yeah. You were a great firefighter, sir.
Pruitt: I was a good firefighter. Great firefighters get good firefighters killed. You succeed or fail as a team. You can paint outside the lines once in a while, but it’s always about that team.

Announcing their marriage at a spaghetti dinner probably wasn't part of the plan.

However, Sullivan was riding high after he got off with a slap on the wrist from Dixon.

Sullivan smile - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 14

In that moment, he felt like nothing could touch him.

It's hard to argue with that line of reasoning when Sullivan was given the biggest reprieve of the season.

He admitted all of his indiscretions to Dixon -- from stealing Fentanyl from the PRT to overdosing on the job -- and walked away without any real consequences.

Of course, going to Dixon wasn't Sullivan's idea.

The battalion chief only did because Ben held a metaphorical gun to his head, threatening to report him if he didn't do it first.

Ben force - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 14

It was admirable what Ben did, but he should have had an idea how of things would play out.

All Dixon cares about is his reputation and pedigree, and he's not going to let anyone or anything stand in his way.

Having a drug scandal his first year as fire chief wouldn't reflect well on him and could impact his job security, as he wasn't exactly the most qualified candidate to begin with.

However, since hardly anyone knows about Sullivan's drug use, and no one was injured as a result of it, then it's easier for Dixon to sweep it under the rug.

Sullivan test - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 14

Dixon, though, has no problem letting Sullivan know the battalion chief owes him one, as if Dixon covering up Sullivan's behavior is some sort of favor for the battalion chief and not the other way around.

Nothing about these interactions is surprising given what viewers know about Dixon: He is a egotistical megalomaniac with out-dated and misogynistic viewpoints.

Sullivan: I had a feeling to go into that storage unit.
Ben: You’re battalion chief. You don’t get to break rules just because you have a feeling. You abandoned your command, and you abandoned your team.
Sullivan: I had no other choice.
Ben: You could have gone up on that roof.
Sullivan: The roof was suicide. Capt. Herrera had cancer.
Ben: No, don’t you dare make this about his cancer. If Pruitt Herrera had been perfectly healthy, he still would have gone up on that roof. It never once occurred to you to climb up there and do that.
Sullivan: I have to stay alive for my wife, who has lost enough this year and who was going to lose her father soon, with or without the fire.
Ben: Your what?
Sullivan: Andy and I got married a couple weeks ago. Her father walked her down the aisle. He blessed it. He shook my hand. Warren, I had to go in there to save my wife.

What was surprising, though, is how he came to be the fire chief.

Yes, flashbacks revealed this episode that Dixon got the job by looking the other way when he pulled over the mayor's son years ago for drunken driving.

Dixon - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 4

And guess what happened? Well, that guy ended up killing several people because Dixon didn't give him a ticket for driving while intoxicated. 

All the guy got was a night in jail, while innocent lives were lost.

And Dixon, well, he literally helped the mayor's son get away with murder vehicular manslaughter.

As if we needed more reason to hate the man.

Maya surprised - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 14

Elsewhere, Maya was confronted with the harsh truth about her father, but she refused to accept it. 

As flashbacks revealed on Station 19 Season 3 Episode 5, Maya's father was verbally and emotionally abusive toward her.

Carina: I, too, love my dad very much. He’s… he’s brilliant. He’s… he’s funny. He’s… he’s my hero in so many ways. But that’s why it took me so long to realize that he wasn’t OK. It took me so long to realize that… that it isn’t normal to live your life on eggshells. Maya, denial is a strong force, and the abuse your mom described outside is still abuse.
Maya: I’m not in denial. I won a gold medal because of my dad. I am the youngest fire captain in Seattle, and this station’s first female captain because of my dad. I am not in denial. I am pissed.

Mr. Bishop never gave Maya love or affection freely; it was always something that had to be earned.

If she fell short of his impossible standards, well, then she could forget about any kindness or social nicety. 

Carina: I, too, love my dad very much. He’s… he’s brilliant. He’s… he’s funny. He’s… he’s my hero in so many ways. But that’s why it took me so long to realize that he wasn’t OK. It took me so long to realize that… that it isn’t normal to live your life on eggshells. Maya, denial is a strong force, and the abuse your mom described outside is still abuse.
Maya: I’m not in denial. I won a gold medal because of my dad. I am the youngest fire captain in Seattle, and this station’s first female captain because of my dad. I am not in denial. I am pissed.

Heck, she even could forget about human decency, as Mr. Bishop is the paradigm of what it means to be a horrible father.

Katherine tell - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 14

However, Maya has never seen her father's treatment as abuse and is appalled by her mother's notion that her father was abusive.

She admits that her father pushed her hard, but she would hardly qualify that as abuse, especially after everything she's achieved.

Maya views her successes because of her father, not in spite of him.

To her, the only reason she won an Olympic gold medal or became Seattle Fire Department's youngest captain or the first female captain at Station 19 is because of her upbringing.

Maya in charge - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 8

Without that "tough love," Maya feels she wouldn't be where she is today.

It's also hard for Maya to accept her father was abusive because he didn't physically beat her.

Like many others, Maya contends that only physical violence counts as abuse, not considering her father's hateful words or withholding of affection to be just as harmful.

This is a realization, though, Maya is going to have to come to on her own.

No one can force her to see the truth.  It'll be up to her on when she's ready to accept it.

Maya lead - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 10

Some stray thoughts:

  • When Andy first brought up Jack's PTSD, I thought she was deflecting his questioning about her marriage, but it seems she was right in asking about it.

    The structure fire on Station 19 Season 3 Episode 12 was retraumatizing for Jack, and I'm glad the series is addressing the complex nature of PTSD, as it's not just something that magically goes away given enough time and therapy.

  • Speaking of therapy, I'm glad Jack is seeing a therapist, even if it is with Diane. It's great to see the show continue to tackle the social stigma surrounding therapy, as it can prevent a lot of people from getting the help they need.

Bailey  - Station 19 Season 3 Episode 14
  • Dean's aversion to getting back out there has more to do with him realizing he's in love with Vic than not being ready, right? He clearly has feelings for his coworker turned roommate/co-parent. I mean, how could he not, especially since they're playing home 24/7.

  • Emmett's anxiety interfered with his ability to do his job for the second time. How long do we think before he's fired? Running into burning buildings is kind of in the job description, and if you can't do that, then you're probably in the wrong field.

So what did you think Station 19 Fanatics?

How will the dynamic at Station 19 change now that everyone knows about Andy and Sullivan?

Will Sullivan ever be held accountable for his indiscretions?

When will Maya accept the truth about her father?

Hit the comments below to let me know your thoughts. If you happened to miss the latest episode, remember you can watch Station 19 online at TV Fanatic.

The Ghosts That Haunt Me Review

Editor Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
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Jessica Lerner is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

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Station 19 Season 3 Episode 14 Quotes

Carina: I, too, love my dad very much. He’s… he’s brilliant. He’s… he’s funny. He’s… he’s my hero in so many ways. But that’s why it took me so long to realize that he wasn’t OK. It took me so long to realize that… that it isn’t normal to live your life on eggshells. Maya, denial is a strong force, and the abuse your mom described outside is still abuse.
Maya: I’m not in denial. I won a gold medal because of my dad. I am the youngest fire captain in Seattle, and this station’s first female captain because of my dad. I am not in denial. I am pissed.

Sullivan: I had a feeling to go into that storage unit.
Ben: You’re battalion chief. You don’t get to break rules just because you have a feeling. You abandoned your command, and you abandoned your team.
Sullivan: I had no other choice.
Ben: You could have gone up on that roof.
Sullivan: The roof was suicide. Capt. Herrera had cancer.
Ben: No, don’t you dare make this about his cancer. If Pruitt Herrera had been perfectly healthy, he still would have gone up on that roof. It never once occurred to you to climb up there and do that.
Sullivan: I have to stay alive for my wife, who has lost enough this year and who was going to lose her father soon, with or without the fire.
Ben: Your what?
Sullivan: Andy and I got married a couple weeks ago. Her father walked her down the aisle. He blessed it. He shook my hand. Warren, I had to go in there to save my wife.