Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPopular Brian Griffin Quotes
Stewie: You remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where Bobby saved Greg's life and Greg became his slave?
Brian: Yeah.
Stewie: Good. It's on tonight. Tape it for me, and put a nice label on it
Stewie and I traded in our plane tickets for train tickets. Yeah, apparently you can do that
Girl [to Brian at bar]: I think you've had about enough.
Brian: Well, I... I think you're wrong, you... you increasingly attractive looking woman. You know, you're... you're really pretty.
Girl: Oh, stop!
Brian: No. I'm... I'm serious... You could... you could be in magazines. You could! And not just Juggs or Creamsicle...
[Lady walks away]
Brian: Call me! ... She won't call
Brian: Well, well, looks like you're in love.
Stewie: Ha! That's so funny I forgot to laugh...excluding that first "ha!"
Brian: Face it, you're a sucker for a woman with blue eyes.
Stewie: Aha! Her eyes are green!
Brian: Aha! Thanks for proving my point.
Stewie: Damn!
Lois: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome any obstacle.
Peter: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones. Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team!
Brian: What the hell are you talking about?
Peter [after surgery]: Knock knock!
Brian: Hey, pal, you can't just walk in here without - holy crap, it's Peter.
Chris: Dad, you're pretty, like a girl
Peter [reading his tax refund]: Oh my god, it's better than I thought. An Audi! I'm gettin' a car!
Brian: Uh, Peter, there's a "t" in there. That says "audit".
Peter: No, Brian, it's a foreign car... the "t" is silent. Sweet, I'm gettin' an Audi!
Chris [lifts up his shirt]: I have an innie
Brian: Face it, Peter. It's over. Why don't you sit down with the mayor and negotiate some kind of treaty?
Peter: Negotiate? Peter Griffin doesn't know the meaning of the word "negotiate."
Peter: Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happened to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard.
Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter: I drift in and out
Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?
Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's... that's just terrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one.
Brian: Ah, the old alma mater. I tell you, there's something magical about Brown.
Chris: Brown is the color of poo. Ha ha ha!
Brian: Yes. Yes it is
Brian: Amazing, you can barely drive a car, and yet you are allowed to fly a blimp?
Peter: Yeah, America's great, except for the south
