Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXChris Griffin Quotes
Meg: That's it, I want those cameras off!
Chris: Fourth wall, You're breaking the fourth wall!
Hot Meg: Hi Chris.
Chris: Oh my God! You know my name?
Antonio: The painting. I must have it for my studio in Soho. I'll give you five thousand dollars. What do you say?
Peter: I say, "I love you, ya freakin' son of mine. I got five thousand bucks for that painting you gave me."
Chris: But dad, I painted that just for you.
Peter: Don't feel bad, Chris, I didn't even want it
Chris: Are you sure this'll work?
Peter: Chris, this is just another one of your crazy schemes.
Chris: But this whole thing was your idea.
Peter: You'll find out.
Chris: Dad, you're not makin' any sense.
Peter: You just leave that to me
Meg: I don't get it, mom, if you're so mad at dad for wrecking your show, why did you come to opening night?
Lois: I came because I love the theater. I mean, if I just came here to enjoy watching your father be humiliated when this asinine spectacle of his is ridiculed by everyone in town, what kind of person would I be?
Chris: A bitch
Peter: Mr. Weed said whoever comes up with the best idea for the big christmas toy gets a huge bonus!
Chris: Why don't you invent the frisbee, dad? That's an awesome toy!
Meg: The frisbee's already been invented.
Chris: Then how come I've never heard of it?
Lois: I'm so worried about your father.
Chris: You mean because he's a borderline alcoholic?
Lois: No. Mommy's made peace with that.
Chris: Oh, cause he's got a lump on his booby!
Lois: Chris, that's a terrible word! "Booby."
Meg: Mom, Debbie Miller's dad had a lump on his breast, and he turned out okay.
Lois: Really? Who's Debbie Miller?
Meg: A girl I just made up
[After seeing the social worker give Mrs. Stevens back her baby]
Chris: So this is where babies come from?
Brian: Yes Chris, this is exactly where babies come from.
Chris [to Lois]: You told me I came out of your vagina
Chris [on the phone]: So, ah, what are you wearing? Wow. I bet you could see right through that.
Lois: Chris, who you talking to?
Chris: Grandma
I didn't know there was a five a.m. mass. I didn't even know there was a five a.m. What else haven't you told me!?
Meg: There is no way that I'm sleeping in Chris' room this weekend; it smells like old milk in there!
Chris: Hey, if I could find it, I'd clean it up!
If I ever go back to Quahog, it'll be just so that I can poke poor people with a stick!
