Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Claire Dunphy Quotes
Haley: That's the old salvage yard where kids go to get high.
Claire: What? We are going there right now!
Phil: Wait, wait are you sure?
Haley: I'm gonna answer and then I'm gonna walk away, deal? I'm 420% sure.
Phil: Wow, she's bad at math.
Claire: I did cartwheels.
Phil: Without me?
Claire: I was out of control growing up, there you know, I said it. I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I made. If Hailey never wakes up on a beach in Florida half naked, I've done my job.
Phil: Our job.
Claire: Right, I've done our job
I have this theory that Phil purposely installs complicated technology so he has a reason to talk to me like I'm a child.
Luke: Dad's like crazy fun, but you're nice.
Claire: I'm nice?!?
Luke: Well, not now.
Don't take this the wrong way, but I have almost no faith in you.
Claire: Getting everybody out of the house in the morning can be really tough. Especially the first day of school.
Phil: From the moment we get up at seven until we drop them off at school it is: go go go.
Claire: I get up at six.
Phil [mocking]: I get up at five.
Claire: Seriously, I get up at six.
Phil: That's you? I thought we had a racoon
You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.
Sometimes I worry nobody's going to like Alex.
Phil: Well, there's book smart and then there's street smart.
Claire: Yeah, and then there's Luke.
Phil: Oh, he's just, he's just curious, that's all. He's got this, almost, scientific mind with a thirst for knowledge. He's like this little Einstein. Some people ask "Why?" Luke asks, "Why not?"
Claire: I ask why a lot
Phil: All over YouTube.
Claire: It went viral.
Phil: Some sicko auto-tunned me.
Claire: You don't make a shiv out of a knife.
Phil: yeah you make a shiv out of a rusty spoon or a shard of glass.
Claire: Or a human femur.
Phil: Exactly, be creative.
