Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXCleveland Brown Quotes
Cleveland: Cool, Glenn! You look like Tommy Lee!
Quagmire: Well that oughta be appropriate, since I just found out I have hepatitis
You're the white version of a black guy that's not good with his money
Cleveland: Peter, not all Jewish people are good with money.
Peter: Well, I guess not the retarded ones, but why would you even say that? For shock value? Jeez, Cleveland, there's "edgey", and then there's "offensive."
Joe: I heard that when Daggermouth eats you, he devours your guts first.
Cleveland: I heard he doesn't just eat you, he eats your soul.
Peter: I heard one of Shannon Doherty's eyes is off center because it's trying to escape
[the Ku Klux Klan are chasing Peter and Cleveland]
Peter: Holy crap, do you see what I see?
Cleveland: I'm afraid I do.
Peter: We're being chased by ghosts!
Cleveland: You just put Peter in the doghouse, which is where your mother...
Loretta: Don't say it.
Cleveland: Your mother smells
Cleveland: So where is it you need to go, my new honkey friend?
Peter: Rhode Island. That's not too far, is it?
Cleveland: Nothing's too far away from Maxine the cheatin' queen. Women. That's not fair, I'm just speaking out of hurt
Cleveland: Look at all the damage!
Peter: Thank God the open air debris garden is still intact
Quagmire: Here's to the Drunken Clam, boys! Where they don't ask for proof of age and neither do I!
Cleveland: Quagmire. You forgot to say "oh".
Quagmire: You sure? I think I did... Well, just to be safe. Oh!
Cleveland: I can't believe how terrible the fishing was.
Peter: Yeah, all we caught was a tire, a boot, a tin can, and this book of clichés
Cleveland: If you're this desperate about Chris's weight, why don't you just suck the fat out?
Peter: Look, if you can find a hole on the boy that you want to put your lips on, be my guest
There's quite a crowd outside. I haven't seen pandemonium like this since Ridiculous Day down at the deli, where prices were so low, they were ridiculous
