Elliot Reid Quotes
Elliot: Doctor Cox...
Dr. Cox: And there you are.
Elliot: Excuse me?
Dr. Cox: I was just now wondering if there is anything that could actually push my headache into a full-blown migrane and there you are. What's the story on the adbit in sixty-four?
Elliot: She's great! I really like her!
Dr. Cox: Yeah, let's see if you can't focus on things that I actually give a rat's ass about
Jill: Okay, what if you've had three great dates and he likes you so much, he hasn't even tried to have sex with you yet?
Elliot: I could sabotage that relationship in two phone calls.
Jill: I could do it in one.
Elliot: Jill, Sabotage That Relationship!
Jill: For starters, I would ask him why he finds me so repulsive, then I would coerce him into having phone sex with me, after which I would ask him if he thinks we have a future together... and then I'd probably just cry until he hung up on me.
Elliot: We are so alike!
Jill: When I get out of here, we should totally hang!
Elliot: I'd love to! I should warn you, though, I work a ton, and when I'm off I usually stay at home to catch up on paperwork or read medical journals just to stay ahead of the curve. Oh, I'm a nerd
Elliot: What did you do?
J.D.: She called me "Bambi" in front of everyone. My name is not Bambi!
Janitor: It's Scooter!
Elliot: Why'd you have me paged?
Jill: To ask you to forgive me.
Elliot: For what?
Dr. Cox: Hello, sad clown. Thanks for paging her.
Elliot: How could you?
Jill: He-he called me "Cutie" and then he said something about my eyes... being as blue as the ocean- I... I got confused.
Elliot: Yeah, it probably would've worked on me, too.
Dr. Cox: You're damn right it would've
J.D.: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're examining me? I don't want you to see my unmentionables.
Elliot: I've seen underwear before.
J.D.: Actually I use the word unmentionables for my genitals as well
Elliot: Shortness of breath, dizziness, problems urinating?
J.D.: No, no, is it a problem if it whistles?
Elliot: Oh, you're making this so much easier! Are you sexually active?
J.D.: Oh it's active.
Elliot: I'll write, rare dry spell in the margin
Elliot: I heard you're telling everyone I violated you.
J.D.: Not everyone, just the people that work here. Oh, and my parents.
Elliot: Was there something wrong with my exam?
J.D.'s Narration: So there it is, the classic trap. Two choices, either wuss out or tell the truth.
J.D.: Well, you're kinda rough, yeah you're rough. And you're a little business like. Oh, and you're cold.
Elliot: Mm hm, you mean my hands?
J.D.: Yeah, those too. I just think you know you could be more comforting.
J.D.'s Narration: I could tell she appreciated how hard it was for me to say that.
Elliot: Do you know how annoying you are when you talk?
J.D.'s Narration: Maybe not
Dr. Kelso: Which most likely indicates what Dr. Reid?
Elliot: I'd say he has a simple case of appendicitis.
Dr. Kelso: And how would you proceed Dr. Dorian?
J.D.: Well, for starters, I would've given me that news in private no matter how angry I was at me.
Dr. Kelso: Sounds like there's some fascinating back story here, turf him to surgery. Moving on
Elliot: Hey we've gotten to know each other over the last week, haven't we?
Mr Davis: I'd say so.
Elliot: And as a doctor you found me comforting?
Mr Davis: God no.
Elliot: Come on, I'm pretty good with people.
Mr Davis: You're horrible with people.
Elliot: I'm warm.
Mr Davis: You're very cold, I mean your hands it's like you're a yeti.
Elliot: I have bad circulation. I- I do this all day and it doesn't help.
Mr Davis: Listen sweety, you're a very efficient competent doctor but your exams - do you examine everyone like that or just people you feel have wronged you in some way?
Elliot: Well, I appreciate your opinion-
Mr Davis: Oh no, it's not an opinion. You see those guys right there they're just pretending to be asleep so you won't manhandle them anymore
Elliot: Great. Carla, everyone likes you so much it makes me wonder-
Carla: Why all your patients think you're a cold fish?
Elliot: Oh my God you noticed?
Carla: No, honey, they told me.
Elliot: Great, anyone needs me I'll be in the supply closet eating sugar packets
Mr Davis: If it'll make you feel better, I hate this whole touchy feely culture anyway.
Elliot: Thank you!
Mr Davis: And that whole kiss hello thing.
Elliot: Ugh!
Mr Davis: Ew.
Elliot: Yeah, I don't want anyone touching me unless we're gonna have sex and even then I don't want them to overdo it
