Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite Lana Kane Quotes
(Barry walks into the Office thinking Lana killed Archer)
Lana: (offscreen) Barry, you might want to call the cleaners.
Barry: Wha...?
(We hear something smash)
Lana: (looks down at unconscious Barry) Because there is lamp everywhere.
Lana: (to Cyril) Seriously, you cheated on me with Carol!?
(Mentioned girl passes by open door)
Cheryl: It's Cheryl!
Lana: (to Cyril) Exactly, I think I made my point.
(Lana's voice is heard on Intercom)
Lana: Hi, if any of you men want to have sex with me (Cyril gasps) Come to my office and take a number.
(A large crowd of men appear before Lana's office. With Pam shoving her way thru.)
Pam: You heard the lady! (holds up piece of paper with number one on it) Take a number!!
Gillette: He's like a thousand.
Lana: You won't be having sex with him.
Gillette: Well, wait, he is a Duke.
Lana: No means no.
Noah: How much of my blood does he need?
Lana: I dunno, 10 gils?
Malory: Duly noted and disregarded. And I expect you to be totally convincing.
Lana: As the damsel in distress? Have you ever met a woman less damselly?
Malory: Pam.
Lana: Have you ever heard of ISIS?
Archer: From the Shazam/Isis Hour TV Show?
The last time she was in the field they were still using muskets.
Lana: Why is there a camera?
Lance: I assume because this restaurant can't hold 3 million viewers
Lana: Thank you for making me carry your bag through customs.
Woodhouse: No, thank you.
Archer: Are you kidding, I didn't even let [Woodhouse] go to his own brother's funeral.
Lana: Was he crushed?
Archer: He probably would have been if I told him about it.
Lana: Screw you, Mr My-mother's-a-lying-bitch-and-I'm-too-stupid-to-realize-my-life's-a-pathetic-joke! Archer: Nice to meet you, Mrs Hello-my-kid's-from-a-sperm-bank-since-I-can't-keep-a-man-because-in-addition-to-my-jillion-neuroses-I-have-a-weird-looking-vagina!
