Archer: I'm talking about us flying on the same plane, Lana. What if it crashed?
Lana: Then I wouldn't have to had to watch you pound 20 drinks and talk the stewardess into a hand job?

• Permalink: Then I wouldn't have to had to watch you pound 20 drinks and talk the stewardess into a hand...
• Rating: Unrated

Lana: And what operation is the CIA conducting in Argentina
Slater: Sorry. It's operation nunya---
Lana: I---
Archer: As in beeswax, Lana. (mimicks a PA system) Dr. Kane, report to the burn unit.

• Permalink: As in beeswax, Lana. Dr. Kane, report to the burn unit.
• Rating: Unrated

Lana: [to Archer] So will your feelings be super hurt if I bang him?
Ray: [from off-screen] Yes!!

• Permalink: Yes!!
• Rating: Unrated

Krieger: That's what they said about Tesla's deathray! So this favor. Lana...wait Lana, what's this favor?!
Lana: (as she's running away) Just promise to use your powers for good.
Krieger: Hahahah, no

• Permalink: Hahahah, no
• Rating: Unrated

Lana: I'm going upstate for seer school
Cheryl: So take her with you!
Lana: To SURVIVAL school
Cherl: Big whoop. Hang her in a bear bag

• Permalink: To Survival School
• Rating: Unrated

Lana: What is it, soup?
Ray: Define soup.
Lana: Would it be safe to assume that no one wants to drink what's in your thermos?
Krieger: Sweet Jesus God, I would hope so!

• Permalink: Sweet Jesus God, I would hope so!
• Rating: Unrated

Lana: Remember when the office shut down and we spent an entire year as coke dealers?
Archer: What, so people just quit?

• Permalink: What, so people just quit?
• Rating: Unrated

Lana: Have you at least babyproofed this place?
Archer: I don't think a baby can hurt anything.

• Permalink: I don't think a baby can hurt anything
• Rating: Unrated

Lana: Daddy, tell us about your research.
Lem Kane: Well, algae is always challenging.
Archer: Yeah, just ask a flip-flop.

• Permalink: Just ask a flip-flop
• Rating: Unrated

Archer: Who gets into a hot tub naked with a stranger?
Lana: Because everybody? Because Berkley?!
Archer: How doese a whole city get a pass from acceptable behavior!

• Permalink: How doese a whole city get a pass from acceptable behavior!
• Rating: Unrated

Lem Kane: That's why I had to keep my secret. Can you imagine what that would mean to big oil or OPEC?
Archer: Well, there's no need to be racist.
Lana: How is the acronym for the organization of pertoleum exporting countries racist?
Archer: Oh, that's what it means?

• Permalink: OPEC
• Rating: Unrated

Lana: First of all, your plan was too complicated!
Slater: Maybe for you people.
Archer: It had everything except a sign for free birdseed.

• Permalink: Free Birdseed
• Rating: Unrated