Lynette Scavo Quotes
I am not leaving that woman in charge of our children. In three months the twins will be chain-smoking and Penny will be an alcoholic.
Remember when I was giving birth to the twins and screaming in agony because Porter was dragging my uterus out with him? Well I was more in the mood for sex then than I am now!. Lynette
Scott: Yes, Lynette, I am a couple's counselor.
Lynette: Really? And what do you call this? Ambush therapy?
Gabrielle: What are you two doing here?
Susan: Uh, what are we doing here?
Lynette: Well, Edie hired me to cater, so it's just business. I don't know what her excuse is.
Susan: You are so dead.
Susan: Lynette, what are you doing here?
Lynette: Edie asked me to cater. I know, I'm a total whore, but please don't rat me out to Gaby.
Edie: (just as Susan is about to say something) Hi Susan! I have 30 copies of your book. The kids can't wait for you to sign it. Come on, let's go. Come on. Come on.
Lynette: (looks at Susan and smiles) Looks like we're working the same corner.
Gabrielle: So here's what's gonna happen. We're not talking to Edie anymore.
Lynette: What do you mean we?
Gabrielle: I mean we as in she betrayed me and you're my best friends so you're gonna support me because that's what friends do.
Susan: And support you, means acting like we're in junior high?
Lynette: Well, it turns out our new babysitter is working out too well, feel up to another tour of duty?
Mrs. McCluskey: Are you sure you want the Wisteria Witch looking after your kids?
Lynette: My kids know you're not a witch
Mrs. McCluskey: Too bad I could use the leverage
Gabrielle: Good friends share enemies too, so are you with me or not?
Susan: Ehm, of course we're with you.
Lynette: We will give Edie the cold shoulder.
Gabrielle: No, no! Not cold! Frozen! I want icicles hanging from that bitch's ears.
Tom: Make sure you have your cell phone with you. When you're interviewing, I'll call, you can conference me in.
Lynette: (being ironic) That is a great idea!
(secretly taking the phone and letting Mrs. McCluskey in)
Lynette: (whispering) Hi, at some point Tom's going to ask you to look for this. You will not find it!
Andrew: So he is a fat loser, who do you expect to get for $8.50 an hour?
Lynette: Well, that's what we pay you and you seem happy enough.
Andrew: That's because I'm doing the beer delivery guy.
Lynette: Oh... okay... my fault for asking...
(to Tom on the phone) I know, you're still mad, I am too, so why don't you come home, we can be mad together.
(crying) Listen to me. I forbid you to die. If you leave me.. with a mortgage, and a restaurant, and five kids I swear I will track you into the deepest pit of hell and make you pay. Do you hear me?Lynette