South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralStan Marsh Quotes
Cartman: You have rats in your house, too, Kenny?
Kenny: Mm-hmm.
Cartman: Seriously, you better stop being so poor or else I'm gonna start huckin' rocks at you.
Kenny: Well maybe if we get a f**king roof, we won't have rats.
Stan: Oh.
(The Marshes are discussing Stan's essay assignment)
Stan: Not Mr. Garrison, Mom, he's a sick weirdo.
Randy: Yeah it's true, he is.
We gave you guys herpes!
Kyle: They knew that staying at Kenny's house would make us sick, and they made us do it anyway.
Stan: They did?
Kyle: Yeah, and I think I figured out why.
Stan: Why?
Kyle: Because they're a bunch of assholes.
Mrs. Marsh: You mean Stanley's missing?
Doctor: No, no, he's not missing. We justcan't seem to find him at this moment.
Stan: That theater sucks, though. They need to get a bigger screen.
Kyle: They should project the movies on Cartman's ass!
(all laugh but Cartman)
Cartman: Nya!
Stan: Yeah, but that'd be like IMAX.
(laugh)
Mr. Garrison: The fist film showing is called 'Witness to Denial' and is a sexual exploration piece about two women in love.
Stan: Oh, my uncle Jimbo has a ton of those movies in his dresser drawer.
Mr Garrison: Okay children I have some very exciting news for you. Why don't you tell them Mr Twig? (Garrison as Mr Twig) That's right Mr Garrison. The first annual South Park Film Festival begins today.
Wendy: Wow! Cool.
Kyle: They're not gonna show that stupid-ass Godzilla movie again are they?
Mr Garrison: No, no, Kyle, these are independent films.
Stan: Oh like Independence Day? That sucked ass too.
Cartman: No dude, independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding.
Baby Stan: Oo das kill Kenny!
Baby Kyle: Oo bastards!
Chef: (Phone rings, he answers) Hello? What? Oh, hello, children! It's a what? A giant snake?! Killing everybody?! Growing bigger?! Children, you know I rarely say this, but, well... fudge ya. (hangs up)
Kyle: What did he say?
Stan: Dude, I think he told us to go f(beep)k ourselves.
Cartman: Wow!
Kyle: How's that gonna help?
Stan: Oh, yeah, dude! It's summer! That means we gotta buy fireworks.
Kyle: I saved enough money to buy M-80s this year.
Stan: I saw this one movie where a guy stuck a firecracker up a cat's butt.
Kyle: Cool! Maybe we can do that to Cartman's cat!
Cartman: Hey! If you so much as touch Kitty's ass, I'll put firecrackers in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants!
Stan: Jesus, Cartman!
Cartman: Well, I'm just saying, man. Seriously, don't mess with Kitty, man.
Cartman: I'm not going to sit here and listen to a bunch of hippies in denial. Screw you guys, I'm going home!
Stan: But Cartman we're (interrupted by Cartman)
Cartman: No, no, no. Screw you guys. Home.
Stan: What does he mean: "living in denial"?
Kyle: Dude, it's Cartman. He's just being a dumb ass like always.
