The Todd Quotes
Todd: Something on your shirt, kid.
Keith: (Looks down) Uh? (Todd does a nose flick) Uh!
Todd: Ha-ha-ha! Classic!
Janitor: Who wants a piece of pie!
J.D.: Who made it?
Janitor: Let's say my mom.
J.D.'s Narration: As a doctor, you get good at piecing things together.
Flashback
Nurse: Someone stole a case of laxatives.
Janitor: Who wants a piece of pie!
J.D.'s Narration: This one was obvious.
End Flashback
J.D.: No thank you.
Todd: Free pie? Hell yeah!
Janitor: Who's ready for a pie break?
J.D.: No!
Janitor: Come on, why not?
J.D.: Why don't you ask Todd? Due to what can only be described as epic diarrhea, he's been on an I.V. drip for thirty-six hours!
Todd: Make-it-stop five?
J.D.: Here at Sacred Heart, you get to work with some of the finest doctors in the country.
Todd: Out of my way! I got a doozy of a twosie!
I know it sounds corny, but we really made a big difference in that person's life in there. I hope she digs her new cans.
Todd: You did great work.
Turk: Hey, you know, it's not about me.
Dr. Cox comes up and puppets Turk's hand in the five.
Todd: Assisted five! I'll take it!
Turk: Couples therapy is killing me.
Todd: I don't know how you do it! Make love with your lady in front of some old dude who's filming you?
Turk: That's not couples therapy Todd.
Todd: Then what did I do?
Turk: You did amateur porn!
Todd: Sweet.
Todd: Nurse, suction.
Nurse: The patient's not even here yet.
Todd: I know.
Nurse: Looking good, Janitor.
Janitor: Well thank you, petite-lady.
Todd: Wow, that color really brings out your package.
Janitor: Thank you, supposedly-straight surgeon.
Janitor: You gave me a cursed uniform!
Dr. Kelso: Ha, ha, ha, it's not cursed, its simple psychology. I chose Robin's-Egg blue because it has a calming effect on people & I knew it would be the thorn in your paw. Other colours evoke different reactions, for example bright orange has been found to provoke hostility.
Ted: Doctor Kelso, I wanna thank you again for the tie.
(Ted is thumped in the arm by Todd)
Todd: Fist Five!
Ted: OWW! It's the third time today.
J.D.: Can I get up, my butt is asleep.
Turk: NO!
Carla: Turk, you know how I was so upset because you started calling your ex-girlfriend? I just couldn't understand how a married person could slip up like that, now I do. I'm so sorry.
J.D.: Me too buddy.
Turk: Guys, as insane as this may sound I'm actually gonna be OK with this. Just do me a favor, no more apologies and no more explanations and for the love of God, honey, no more girl-on-girl kissing demonstrations.
Cut to Cafeteria
Todd: Something horrible has happened.
J.D.: It was barely even a kiss dude; it was like an accidental lip bump, like oops.
Turk: WHOOAAA! Don't even look at her. Sit on the floor.
J.D.: Sitting.
Carla: Fine, I'll show you with Elliot.
Cut to cafeteria
Todd: Something wonderful is happening.
