The Todd Quotes
Elliot: Poor Mr. Gerst. I wonder what that's like, to have an erection for nine hours.
Todd: Ask me in twenty minutes.
Intern: That guy needs to do some serious thinking about baseball.
Todd: He wouldn't even let me see it.
Elliot: Hey meathead! Oh good, you both looked. Now, Mr. Gerst came here for help, and we're doctors, so how about we try and treat him with at least a little bit of dignity and respect, okay?
Dr. Kelso: That man is a human sundial!
Ted: Trust me. The way I got my girlfriend in junior high was by getting her best friend to like me.
Janitor: And how'd you do that?
Ted: I posed as her dad so she could rent a car. I lost my hair in eighth grade.
Todd: Tough break five.
Todd: So once you've got the hole at the bottom of the popcorn box, it's
basically just a waiting game.
Doug: And for the record, that technique does not work with hot nachos.
If you are going to stay with the Todd, you are going to have to hammock up.
J.D.: Hey cool picture! Which one of those guys is you?
Todd: Oh I don't swim.
J.D.: Oh, I don't-I don't have one of those, Todd.
Todd: No problem. What are you, about a medium?
J.D.: Extra-medium.
Todd: This'll work. And it'll look good, too.
J.D.: Thanks for letting us crash here, man.
Todd: The Todd's not accustomed to receiving gentleman callers.
J.D.: Okay...
Dr. Kelso: So how much does he owe me, Barbarino?
Todd: Six hundred so far.
Janitor: Dammit, man, you cannot afford this.
Elliot: I had this one first date where the guy took me to play paintball. All he does the whole time is shoot me in the face. After two years with that guy, I'm like, "That's enough!" You know?
Janitor: Ha ha! First dates, huh?... Someone give me seven hundred bucks.
Todd: I went out with this girl, she was like the worst first date ever. I take her for a romantic ferry ride, and for some reason I decide to take it out-
Carla: Okay. Your turn is done.
Dr. Cox: Otherwise, let's bear in mind that we are short-handed - there are only four doctors here.
Turk: I counted more than that.
Dr. Cox: I'm talking legitimate doctors, turtle head. Here, Pee-Pants is a pathologist, so he doesn't count. Johnson is a dermatologist, which is Greek for "fake doctor," and please don't even get me started on you four surgeons.
Todd: There's only two of us.
Dr. Cox: You are so very useless, I counted you both twice.
Todd: Yeah you did!
Carla: Don't give him too much credit. He's just excited because he wishes he dated more sexy black women when he was single.
Todd: Well, at least he married one.
Carla: Todd, I'm not black.
Todd: Right, and I'm not straight.
