Nick: You better not show that to anyone, you b****! Or I’ll…
Toni: Or you’ll what?! Exactly! Now listen up, you worm, because I’m only going to say this once. You don’t know me, but I know you. And I know exactly what you did to my girlfriend Cheryl Blossom, and what you’ve probably done to a lot of innocent young women. You will never step foot in Riverdale again. You will not so much as even think about Cheryl Blossom, and you will never assault another woman. Because if you do, I will let the whole world see what was done to you. I WILL RUIN YOU!

Veronica: Well, well, well! If it isn’t Katy Keene!
[They hug]
Katy: Hi!
Veronica: It’s so good to see you. It’s been way too long, girl.
Katy: I know something that is going to make you even happier. I hear that the new Pruenz’s Schooler Collection on the fourth floor is to die for!
Veronica: Can’t wait! I need to ooze collegiate cuteness at this interview tomorrow.
Katy: Well, I have already scoped out Barnard-ready options.
Veronica: Well, good thing I’m armed with my mother’s Lacy’s card.
Katy: Well, if that’s the case, I know exactly where to start. Come on!
[They run to the elevator]

Alice: What’s this?
Betty: My latest murder board.
Alice: Who got murdered?
Betty: Mr. Chipping. Maybe. We let the case get cold, but we know Brett’s a total sociopath. So, let’s find out if he’s a killer too.

Toni: Fangs, tell me you’re not selling drugs again?
Fangs: Toni, Kevin and I started this little … side-hustle, and don’t worry, it’s nothing illegal, per se.
Toni: What kind of side-hustle? It looks lucrative as hell. Is this something I can get in on?

Fangs: Kevin…
Kevin: [Sighs] Now is not a good time, Fangs. I’m waiting for my Grindr date.

Betty: You’ll never be satisfied, will you, Dad? It wasn’t enough that you ruined my past and my present, but you had to destroy my future, too. Even rotting in the ground, you still find ways to torture me. Not anymore. I’m done.
[Betty smashes his gravestone with a sledgehammer]
Betty: I hate you!

Mr. Dupont: Forsythe’s best work stems from his personal experiences. Might I suggest you start there?
Jughead: What about a dark and ominous force that threatens the town of Seaport? An obsessed killer who is looking to expose the hypocrisy and sins of his neighbors. The Baxter Brothers discover that man unleashing his righteous rage is the father of Bobby Baxter’s girlfriend, Tracy True.
Publisher: This sounds promising. What’s the name of the killer?
Jughead: “The Brown Hood.” If you give me a little time, I can come up with…
Publisher: No! We like this. If you ask me, this sounds like a million-dollar idea.

Tom Keller: Hey there, Arch. I would’ve appreciated a heads-up if I was being replaced.
Archie: I know, Mr. Keller. I’m sorry, it happened fast. Frank has a ton of experience and I think the crew is going to love him.
Tom: I gotta be honest, Arch. I know about your uncle. He’s been trouble since the day he was born. I must’ve arrested him a half-dozen times when I was sheriff.
Archie: That was then. My dad believed in second chances and so do I.

Cheryl: I’d like us to find a way to work together in blissful harmony.
Ms. Appleyard: Cheryl, I’m the coach, you’re the athlete. The power structure couldn’t be clearer. As for your muffins, could I suggest a little less time baking and a little more time in the weight room?
Cheryl: My body is perfection, you crone! And you may be the coach, but I think you’ll find that the Vixens are mine. Forevermore.

Brett: Save your tears! No is watching.
Betty: Brett…
Brett: You got your wish, Ponytail. Forsythe isn’t going to Yale. So, I guess it’ll just be you and me in New Haven.
[Brett leaves and Betty slams Jughead’s picture in the box]

Reggie: Stonewall sucks! The only reason why they’re undefeated is because they play dirty.
Monroe: Dirty!
Reggie: Every team that’s gone up against them has suffered some major injury.
Betty: What do you mean?
Reggie: I mean, they don’t play to win. They play to hurt.

Cheryl: Look, I’m not sure what Honey told you, but we don’t need a coach. I run the show around here. Howevs, we are looking for a laundrywoman.
Ms. Appleyard: From now on, we’re going to change things up. The Vixens are a cheer squad, so we’ll be focusing on cheers, not signing and dancing to pop songs. Now, gather the rest of the girls and meet me out on the field, so we can practice some drills. Okay?
Cheryl: I’m sorry. Am I hallucinating or did you just give me an order?!
Ms. Appleyard: I led my last team to Nationals three years in a row. I think I know what I’m doing here.

The CW Quotes

Veronica: What the hell is a "Sticky Maple"?
Kevin: It's kinda what it sounds like. It's a Riverdale thing.
Veronica: No, Kevin, it's a slut-shaming thing. And I'm neither a slut nor am I going to be shamed by someone named, excuse me, Chuck Clayton! Does he really think he can get away with this? Does he not know who I am?! I will cut the brakes on his supped-up phallic symbol.

Cheryl: Ummm, did you have a lobotomy for breakfast? You’re wearing my signature color!
Toni: You don’t own the color red. Red existed before you.
Cheryl: Not at Riverdale High. Here, I invented red. I am red.
[Cheryl snaps her fingers and two girls stand behind her]
Cheryl: Sorry, but this school is not big enough for the both of us, faux-pink lady. And I was here first. Go to Centerville High or Westerberg, I don’t care. But you have until first bell Monday to clear every trace of yourself out of these halls. Copy?
[Cheryl flips her hair in Toni’s face and walks away]