Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Quotes
Peter: I'll handle it Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah
Peter: When did God ever say he didn't want someone else being worshipped like him?
Lois: It's one of the Ten Commandments.
Peter: Oh, come on Lois, those were written like 200 years ago. Times have changed
Hey Lois, give Chris a break. I mean, no TV? So he failed a class, it's not like he felt up his cousin in the garage that one time when I was
Peter
Brian: Peter, this is the final plague!
Peter: Good cause this is starting to get old
Peter: I want to have the kind of father and son relationship that the Gumbels have.
Lois: Peter, the Gumbels are brothers.
Peter: Oh nice Lois, just because they're black we can't learn anything from 'em?
Brian: Peter, the final plague is the death of the first born son.
Peter: Oh no Stewie!
Brian: The first born son.
Peter: Meg!
Brian: Your wife.
Peter: Chris
Peter: Hey Stewie. I see your bum.
Stewie: Well take a good look, fat man. And while you're at it, take pictures so I have something to bring with me to court, you wretched pervert
Lois: I guarantee you a man made that commercial.
Peter: Of course a man made it. It's a commercial Lois, not a delicious Thanksgiving dinner
Why do women have boobs? So you got something to look at while you're talkin' to 'em
Peter
Ok, ok. I've got it, I've got it. If you cooked any more slowly, you wouldn't need an egg timer. You'd need an egg calendar. Ah ha ha ha. Oh, that's right. I went there
Stewie
Okay, okay, how many dirty stinkin' apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One dirty stinkin' ape to screw in the light bulb, and two dirty stinkin' apes to throw feces at each other!
Peter
Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster
Stewie
