Sasappis: My girlfriend lives in his car.
Thorfinn: There she lives in a land ship.
Alberta: He just said, “car.” You can’t repeat cars like you don’t want to learn?!
Thorfinn: Thor don’t like your hat.
Alberta: [Gasps]

• Permalink: Thor don’t like your hat.
• Added: January 12, 2023

Sam: Freddie, I can’t tell you how much we appreciate all the work you’ve been doing. I honestly don’t know how we got along with you.
Hetty: Don’t compliment the help. In order to perform at their best, they must be kept hungry and afraid.

• Permalink: In order to perform at their best, they must be kept hungry and afraid.
• Added: January 12, 2023

Flower: Security camera? That’s creepy. I don’t want to be watched.
Pete: Flower, you’re invisible.
Flower: Oh yeah! That would’ve come in handy when I robbed that bank.

• Permalink: Security camera? That’s creepy. I don’t want to be watched.
• Added: January 12, 2023

Trevor: I was joking! I wasn’t turned on at all.
Hetty: My friend, that lie would be a lot easier to sell … with some pants on.
Trevor: That’s involuntary. Don’t read into it.
[He looks down at his crotch]
Trevor: Damn you.

• Permalink: My friend, that lie would be a lot easier to sell … with some pants on.
• Added: January 12, 2023

Freddie: Wait, did you order, like, 50 burritos to just talk to me?
Sam: Yes. Yes, we did.
Freddie: But you guys are, like, broke?
Jay: Okay, every 10th one was free.
Freddie: That is so sweet. Crazy, but sweet.

• Permalink: Wait, did you order, like, 50 burritos to just talk to me?
• Added: January 05, 2023

Bjorn: Okay, just want to be clear: you say listen to you and not my father?!
Pete: He’s joking. He’s a funny kid.
Thorfinn: We talk after Housewives!

• Permalink: We talk after Housewives!
• Added: January 05, 2023

Jessica: I’m a car ghost.
Flower: What’s a car ghost?
Jessica: I died in a car accident, so now I’m bound to this car.

• Permalink: I’m a car ghost.
• Added: January 05, 2023

Freddie: And Jay, you shoot the hostage. Speed is the perfect movie and Mr. Keanu Reeves is a national treasure!
Jay: You’re hired.
Trevor: I think Jay is in love.
Sam: Oh, so am I.

• Permalink: Speed is the perfect movie and Mr. Keanu Reeves is a national treasure!
• Added: January 05, 2023

Damn, this cookie good.

Thorfinn

• Permalink: Damn, this cookie good.
• Added: December 15, 2022

I’m not asking you to have a perfect marriage. I’m asking you not to sleep with a ghost on Christmas in my house!

Jay

• Permalink: I’m asking you not to sleep with a ghost on Christmas in my house!
• Added: December 15, 2022

Alberta: So, y’all haven’t kiss yet? At all?!
Isaac: That is correct.
Flower: Isaac, it’s been months. I would’ve slept with him and his bass player by now.

• Permalink: Isaac, it’s been months. I would’ve slept with him and his bass player by now.
• Added: December 15, 2022

Trevor: What the hell, Sam?! You don’t have to fix her up right in front of my face.
Sam: You’re right, Trevor. That was insensitive of me. It’s just that he seems like a nice guy and you don’t have a body!

• Permalink: It’s just that he seems like a nice guy and you don’t have a body!
• Added: December 15, 2022