I've never seen him outside his house. I've never seen him with a shirt on!

Hannah [about Adam]

I could massage your groin in a non-sexual way.

Shoshanna

I'll be your crack spirit guide.

Jessa

Enjoy going through life as yourself.

Marnie

You don't wanna know me.

Adam [to Hannah]

Why is everyone struggling in New York? Why don't we all just move here and start the revolution?

Hannah

I cut her off so she'd have something to write about!

Hannah's mom

You are from New York, therefore you are just naturally interesting.

Hannah

I have been dating someone who treats my heart like it's monkey meat. I feel like a delusional, invisible person half the time so I need to learn what it's like to be treated well before it's too late for me.

Hannah

Be nice to your parents, okay?

Marnie

I didn't lose my job, I gave it away.

Hannah

You might just need to face up to the fact that you're just not meant for a job in the traditional sense.

Adam

Girls Quotes

Ok I think I got everything, testicles, spectacles, wallet, and watch.

Hannah

Jessa: It's pot, do you want some?
Shoshanna: Oh no, I'm hyper enough already.