Ever since I've known you, you've been there. OK. You're always there. Even when I don't want you there, you're there. That's what a husband does. You fight for me. Thats what a husband does. You care about what I eat. That's what a husband does. You've cooked for me even when I don't ask. That's what a husband does. When I pass out you comb my hair so there's no knots in it. That's what a husband does. So guess what? You're gonna be a great husband to Cece cause you're a great husband to me.

Nick

I said chill day in, but did I mean it?

Jess

Welcome to your bachelorette party 2.0.

Jess

The very fact that socks exist is proof shoes don't work.

Cece

It's like my hearing is what a dog hears.

Jess

I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.

Jess

I know you're not a stripper, but is there any way you can take your short pants off?

Jess

I want to thank everyone for an amazing dinner. Special shout out to Winston for a shockingly good toast.

Jess

What is this? The last night of drama camp?

Jess

Nick: Dude, Schmidt lost his vows.
Winston: For the wedding?
Schmidt: No. Different vows.
Winston: Oh, then what's the big deal?
Schmidt: What is wrong with you people?

We're gonna play True American because I want to. I'm using my bride card!

Cece

Everyone has had sex in my room!

Jess

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

My whole life is you.

Schmidt