I may have your entire life planned out on my computer. I made a spreadsheet and everything. I worked on it this morning.

Schmidt

• Permalink: I may have your entire life planned out on my computer. I made a spreadsheet and everything....
• Added: February 02, 2016

You're my best friend in the whole world. We've been through a lot together so I just do feel like your sperm are partly my sperm.

Schmidt

• Permalink: You're my best friend in the whole world. We've been through a lot together so I just do feel...
• Added: February 02, 2016

You have no standing to veto, it's my sperm.

Nick

• Permalink: You have no standing to veto, it's my sperm.
• Added: February 02, 2016

They're reaching into your skin wallet. Your scrotum.

Schmidt

• Permalink: They're reaching into your skin wallet. Your scrotum.
• Added: February 02, 2016

I may or may not have done an extensive amount of research on wedding dresses.

Winston

• Permalink: I may or may not have done an extensive amount of research on wedding dresses.
• Added: February 02, 2016

It's good for you! It's corn!

Bob

• Permalink: It's good for you! It's corn!
• Added: February 02, 2016

Nick: I'm trying my hardest to look poor.
Winston: You are poor.

• Permalink: You are poor.
• Added: February 02, 2016

Why are you putting spoons in the laundry hamper?

Schmidt

• Permalink: Why are you putting spoons in the laundry hamper?
• Added: February 02, 2016

We gonna make a girl cry today!

Winston

• Permalink: We gonna make a girl cry today!
• Added: January 26, 2016

I'm a business guy first and a sex guy second.

Nick

• Permalink: I'm a business guy first and a sex guy second.
• Added: January 26, 2016

Nick: I'm very focused.
Schmidt: You're not even looking at me right now.
Nick: I though I saw something shiny.

• Permalink: I though I saw something shiny.
• Added: January 26, 2016

You have the focus of a coked up Italian on a summer day!

Schmidt

• Permalink: You have the focus of a coked up Italian on a summer day!
• Added: January 26, 2016