Leslie: Will you go to the prom with me?
Ben: Why, I thought you’d never ask…because we’re 40.

I did a show called Zoot, Zoot Wyatt in college.

Ben

I hope that high school auditorium is big enough because I’m bringing 10,000 Maniacs.

Ben

Tom: Every song I download has to pass a series of rigorous tests to answer one simple question: is it a banger?

Ohh, girl, you look creepy.

Andy

Tom: How bout I break you off some of that Ja Rule?
Student: Who’s Ja Rule?

I don’t drink alcohol from that portion of the color system.

Ron

Andy: If you do collapse, I know first aid, er karate.
Leslie: That’s not first aid.
Andy: It is if you do it right! Heimlich!

I need the good stuff. The “Mariah needs to sing tonight” stuff.

Leslie

Ben: I really like you, but you are a terrible person to talk to about personal stuff.
Ron: Thank you, that means a lot to me.

This comes from your mother’s butt.

April

Tom: You’re like a crazy volcano. You’ll have to bring it down a notch.
Craig: I’ll bring it down a dozen notches if I have to!

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.