Schmigadoon!
Wednesdays on Apple TV+Schmigadoon! Quotes
I'm sorry. I don't care how ridiculously handsome you are, you're just wrong.
Melissa
Josh: That was amazing. You were amazing.
Melissa: Oh, no.
Josh: You were.
Melissa: Okay, I was. But, to be fair, being in a musical made it pretty easy. It's the first time I've ever had a baby come out completely dry.
Josh: Yeah, that was weird.
Josh: You know musicals. Any tips for me? Like what musical I'm in?
Melissa: I'm so torn between really not wanting to help you and really wanting to show off how much I know.
Melissa: You're in a musical. That's how musicals work. When you're too emotional to talk, you sing. When you're too emotional to sing, you dance.
Josh: What happens when you're too emotional to dance? Does it loop back around to talking? Cause I feel like that's where I'm at right now.
I've got so many questions and no idea who to ask. For instance, where does the baby come out? I feel like there are a couple of options, but both seem crazy.
Nancy
Kid 1: Miss Tate is right. How can you live a life part way?
Kid 2: Or be half a friend?
Tootie: Why do you keep giving up, Dr. Skinner?
Kid 3: Yeah, why?
Josh: Hey, back off. It's a door.
Carson: Is it?
Emma: You're the one who broke poor Betsy McDonough's heart, then crossed the footbridge with every woman in town in some pathetic attempt to bag a wife. And how'd that work out? Get yourself a good one?
Josh: Ah, still looking.
Josh: We've got more important things to deal with. For instance, me being shot to death.
Melissa: That's not going to happen, Josh. We're in a musical. Nobody gets killed in a musical. Except Oklahoma! And Carousel. And South Pacific. Oh, hello, Westside Story.
Josh: That sounds like all the musicals!
And Harvey, don't even think about letting them back in after I've left. I can read you like a book. Oh wait, books have spines.
Mildred
Josh: By the way, that girl is apparently much younger than she looks.
Melissa: Yeah, I tried to warn you. Have you not seen 'Sound of Music'? Liesl's sixteen going on twenty-nine.
Melissa: Would've been nice if we'd danced together.
Josh: I know. But line dancing, wedding, the whole... I hate it. You know how much I hate it.
Melissa: Yeah, but you left me up there alone. Which I hate.
Oh, women were so underwritten in early musicals.
Melissa
