Popular Scrubs Quotes
Carla: Hey, J.D. Turns out Mr. Milligan doesn't have insurance. Dr. Kelso said once he's stable we have to bounce him to County. Sorry.
J.D.: Turk! Hey! If you go talk to Kelso for me, I'll give you this special Christmas gum.
J.D.'s Narration: Okay, this is actually Mrs. Cross's medicated denture gum? So you have to sell it with your eyes. Sell it... Sell it...!
Turk: Okay.
Turk: Elliot! You said you were gonna get that CAT-scan of Mrs. Credin's abdomen.
Elliot: I have been crazy-busy. I was stuck on the phone all morning with bill collectors who, by the way, are obsessed with money! I spent an hour in my truck looking for clean bras because all I've got left is this date-night push-up one - and, to be honest, I don't like working with these things under my chin all day. Plus, I am walking someplace right now, and, for the life of me, I can't remember where.
Turk: Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it for you.
Elliot: Thanks.
Turk: Mm-hmm.
Elliot: Bathroom!
Elliot, maybe you should be the one to open Jake up? You know like Turk can be a little...immature - you know, like I always have to talk about my feelings over dinner or shut off his iPod during sex.
Carla
Elliot: Laverne, did you ever notice that in hospitals, even though you're surrounded by like hundreds of people, it's still so easy to get lost in your own thoughts?
Laverne: Have you been drinkin'?
J.D.'s narration: In my experience, when two friends miss an opportunity like this, you've got exactly 48 hours to get the kiss. Oherwise, one of you will over-think it. Okay, she's gonna over-think it. Then you end up permanently stuck in the Friend Zone.
[J.D. tries to kiss Elliot]
Elliot: I'll see ya.
Sleeping Patient: You're such a girl.
J.D.: You know, Molly, I appreciate the offer, but there's a very special doctor I use around here when I need help, and he'd be pretty pissed if I didn't come to him first.
Dr. Cox: Why, Mariska? Why do you insist on bothering me with these things?
Carla: Your hair smells like Elliot's.
J.D.: Well, your breath smells like chimichangas!
Carla: Is that racist?
Elliot: That depends. Did you have chimichangas for breakfast?
Carla: Maybe...
Turk: Sorta had a sex dream about you.
Elliot: Really?
Turk: Yeah.
Elliot: Was I the girl?
Turk: Yeah, you were the girl!
Dr. Cox: Hey, Jordan.
Jordan: You know, it's funny - I can't even be pissed and want you to die, screaming in agony, as two horses pull you apart when I'm looking at this beautiful face.
Mr. Milligan: Just been so tired lately. Yesterday, when the little man and I were wrestling, he-he dropped me in ten seconds.
Tyler: I got him with a power kick.
Elliot: So, I let myself get taken advantage of, sometimes; you know. I mean, big deal - how do you make friends?
Jordan: Look, I've seen your type before. You're that girl that convinced herself she wanted to lose her virginity at a frat party while another guy was asleep in the room.
Elliot: Chaz really cared for me.
Jordan: Ah, I know; and I'm sure you have a cool "Jungle Party" t-shirt to prove it. Now, can we please finish this physical? And, I can't pee right now, so you'll have to go for me
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, I need to get Enid a birthday present.
Elliot: Ahh! When's her birthday?
Dr. Kelso: I think it was last week.
Elliot: Um... well, a scarf is always nice.
Dr. Kelso: That's perfect. It's simple; it's elegant; and it'll hide her turkey neck.
