They call it distance learning. Know what I call it? Discrimination.


You have no money yet you're going into a grocery store. Interesting.


Debbie: I want to learn.
Teacher: Okay, here's a lesson: use condoms.

Can you fucking believe that shit?


Lip: It'd be funny if he actually showed up.
Fiona: And what? Pretended to reach into his pocket?

It's my traditional right to ask said patriarch pay for it.


Debbie: Where's your house?
Queenie: My tent's right up there.
Debbie: Your tent?

Gus: See you at two.
Fiona: Wouldn't miss it.

Customer: Where's my change?
Svetlana: In tip jar.
Customer: I didn't ask to tip $5.
Svetlana: Exactly.

Lip: There's some girls that look like dudes.
Ian: I'll pass.

Caleb: I'm HIV positive.
Ian: I have bipolar.

Sean: Does Frank still have that hippy over there?
Fiona: Yeah, doing who knows what.

Shameless Quotes

We’re all addicts Fiona, trying to fill a void. Some of us are just better at hiding it, right?


Ian: Hey Fiona? I'm gay.
Fiona: I know.