Sweet baby mother of Jesus, John Doe is alive!

Nurse

Denise, not Dennis. She's married with kids.

Caleb

Your thing is kinda weird. It has all this extra skin and it freaks me out.

Dom

Set 'em up, bar keep. My liver's been on vacation and I got a months worth of drinking to catch up on.

Frank

You want to get shit faced in the middle of the day. Vodka's best. Believe me. I know. I'm Russian.

Svetlana

It's a brave new world, Fiona.

Kevin

Debbie: I don't even think I'm coming.
Fiona: To my wedding?

Are you wearing cologne?

Fiona

They call it distance learning. Know what I call it? Discrimination.

Debbie

You have no money yet you're going into a grocery store. Interesting.

Frank

Debbie: I want to learn.
Teacher: Okay, here's a lesson: use condoms.

Can you fucking believe that shit?

Kevin

Shameless Quotes

Ian: Hey Fiona? I'm gay.
Fiona: I know.

We’re all addicts Fiona, trying to fill a void. Some of us are just better at hiding it, right?

Robbie