Superstore
Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBCSuperstore Quotes
Jonah: Check the list again.
Sandra: Well, she made the list, so she probably knows who's on it.
Justine: Yeah, Jonah, she's not gonna check it twice. She's not Santa Claus!
Mateo: So we haven't set a specific timeline on getting engaged, but it's probably gonna happen pretty soon.
Garrett: I feel like you only ask me how I'm doing so you could talk about your thing, but cool.
Jonah: You guys get a mom, you send her my way; I'm gonna get you that positive feedback guaranteed.
Mateo: Ew. You're gonna sleep with all the moms to get a good survey?
Jonah: No, what?!
Glenn: Jonah, please, let's keep it clean.
Dina: Glenn, we actually legally can't tell Jonah who not to sleep with, so if you're gonna have sex with the moms, just do it on your break.
Jonah: I'm not... fine.
Jeff: Well, Zephra's looking at the scores and the comments, so it's important that you get positive feedback, especially this store.
Dina: What's that supposed to mean?
Jeff: There's been some chatter that 1217 is a “problem child” store.
Glenn: What?!
Jeff: I mean, you did damage the store's servers, there's the raccoon infestation, there's Carol's lawsuit, not to mention the multiple attempts at unionizing --
Dina: Well, yeah, of course, it's gonna sound bad when you just rattle them off in a row like that! But if you intersperse them with good things we've done, or just, you know, random trivia.
Nobody bothers with the surveys. People only use receipts to spit out gum and for murder alibis.
Dina
Garrett: Look, okay, guys, you know what? Sure, this party looks like a Charlie Brown hoarder special, but for once, you guys have to do the people-pleasing. Because Glenn has been doing it all day. All year, you know what? He's been doing it since he started working here. So here's what's gonna happen: you guys are gonna enjoy this weird-ass little party, 'cause that's what Glenn wants. Got it?
Garrett: Just get over it. There's nothing you can do to make people happy; that's just the way it is. The pandemic happened, and everybody had a shitty year.
Glenn: You don't think I know that? But I gotta try to give them something. I mean, people have been working non-stop for so long and risking their health! You know, and then, we didn't even get Christmas! You know, we had to stay at home eating bologna sandwiches and watching church on Facebook Live. People have missed out on so much, and I just want to give them, like, one little ray of sunshine, but I guess not. Not in this piece of crap year!
No, I just don't want Brian to know. I don't want anyone to know. It's embarrassing! Look at me! I just invaded a raccoon's nest looking for cookies that will definitely make me sick.
Dina
Well, you know what, maybe we can celebrate all the holidays, you know? Have an all-iday party! Do you get it? All the holidays?
Glenn
Mateo: Go get 'em, tiger! I don't know. What do straight boys say?
Jonah: No, I mean, you nailed it. That's exactly what we say.
Wow, how has it been a year already? But also, how has it only been a year?
Cheyenne
Glenn: Again, we're only open for curbside pickup today. There won't be any customers in the store, so we get to go nuts! Deep cleaning! Yeah!
Dina: Think about it like it's a storewide cavity search. It's Store 1217's turn to spread its cheeks.
