While you're bothering the world's most famous scientist, be sure to show him how funny he looks getting stuck under our dishwasher.

Bernadette

Honestly, I just want you to be quiet, but I'm all out of taffy.

Amy

Who leaves their bike in the hallway? You know, if I knew how to ride one, I'd steal it.

Sheldon

Everything is stupid, and I want to go home.

Sheldon

Sheldon: Would you care for a brandy?
Amy: No, thank you.
Sheldon: Good choice. It's disgusting.

Sheldon: And you realize what the next step is.
Amy: Set up a second culture and try to replicate our results.
Sheldon: Uh, no. We lock that door, lower our underpants a little, and make a baby.

Maybe there are other things we have in common. Come dinner time, do you enjoy eating food?

Raj

Penny: How come you don't ever eat broccoli?
Leonard: I'm married. I don't have to be attractive.

Raj: Well I can't eat like a ten year old all the time.
Penny: You're dating somebody! Who is it?

Oh my god. I just got it. Fun onions. Funions. Hahahaha!

Raj

Leonard: She took my Where's Waldo!
Sheldon: Well no, no. He's over there.
Leonard: Oh yeah, there he is.

Howard: And how single are you right now?
Raj: Eating cake on the toilet single.

TBBT Quotes

Stephen Hawking: You made an arithmetic mistake on page two. It was quite a boner.
Sheldon: No, no ... that can't be right. I-I don't make arithmetic mistakes.
Stephen Hawking: Are you saying I do?
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, of course not. It's just, I was thinking.... Oh, gosh, golly, I made a boo-boo and I gave it to Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking: Great, another fainter.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.