The Orville
Thursdays 9:00 PM on FOXThe Orville Quotes
Malloy: It's okay, dude, everybody does it sometimes. I went to town on myself this morning. That's why I look so relaxed right now.
Grayson: God, this whole ship is gross.
Dr. Finn: Porn addiction is a disease just like any other so we need to treat his condition with compassion and understanding.
Bortus: Is there an injection I can receive to cure this disease?
Klyden: You have had enough injections.
Dr. Finn: Couple's counseling helps married people, such as yourselves, discuss and resolve conflicts with the goal of improving your long-term relationship. I'm here to guide that process.
Bortus: Will we select our own weapons?
Dr. Finn: No, that's not how it works.
Dr Finn: Do either of you understand why you're here?
Bortus: Because the Captain has ordered it.
Dr. Finn: Technically, yes. But do you know why the Captain has ordered you to attend couple's counseling?
Klyden: So I do not stab Bortus again.
Dr. Finn: That is one of our goals, yes.
Kitan: It looks so sad and lonely.
Isaac: The penchant for biological lifeforms to anthropomorphize inanimate objects is irrational. I am quite certain the planet is unaware of its solitary status.
Here's my theory. A woman can't really love a man unless he's part-dope. Be a little stupid every day and really stupid once in a while but just don't be perfect.
Mercer
Grayson: Go ahead, say it.
Mercer: Say what?
Grayson: Whatever snarky jab you're about to make.
Mercer: I saw him in the mess hall using both hands to sip his tea.
Isaac: Perhaps compulsory consumption of further quantities of alcohol would diminish his desire for the substance?
Dr. Finn: Pour booze down his throat until he can't handle any more?
Isaac: Precisely.
Dr. Finn: Yeah, that's called murder, Isaac. That's not gonna work.
Dr. Finn: I'm starting to think that I suck at this parenting thing.
Isaac: I must agree with that assessment.
Bortus: There is a young officer under my command who I have noticed also has no mate. If you wish, I will order him to mate with you.
Kitan: Wow, that is the sweetest and most totally wrong thing anyone has ever said to me.
Bortus: I have no reason to doubt his seed is fertile.
I am led to understand that you are a failure in the practice on mating.
Bortus
Dr. Finn: He's not sick. He's just growing up and I can't stop it.
Isaac: Are there not chemical compounds that could effectively stunt his physical development?
Dr. Finn: My gosh, what is the matter with you?
Isaac: I am merely trying to assist.