The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite The Simpsons Quotes
Surly: Hey, Surly only looks out for one guy...Surly!
Selma: Oh, sorry Surly.
Surly: Shut up.
Lisa: No toupees.
Homer: Whaaat, I'm going for the Shia LaBeouf thing. Not quite a nerd, not quite a hunk. Shia LaBeouf!
Corey: Hi, you've reached the Corey hot-line. $4.95 a minute. Here are some words that rhyme with Corey: gory, story, allegory, montessori...
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
(Killer bees attack the new stadium)
Bumblebee Man: Stop, I am one of you!
Africanized bee: (buzzing translated in subtitles) We hate you most of all, Uncle Tom.
Like Mozart and Johnny Knoxville, my genius can not be stopped.
Homer
Marge: Play with Lisa.
Bart: You don't play with Lisa, you play despite her.
Lisa: Bart, I'm not thrilled either, but one day we might need each other for a transplant so we better keep the lines of communication going.
Marge, the doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughing at me!
Homer
Homer: Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. (She scrapes it down with a broom.)
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but--(Eats waffle)--Mmm... sacrilicious.
global warming. Huh, by pure coincidence every scientist was right.
Homer
Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, you remember Matthew 21-27, "The Foolish man who built his house on sand".
Homer: And you remember Matthew...21-17?
Reverend Lovejoy: And he left them, and went out of the city into Bethany; and he lodged there?
Homer: Yeah...(regains confidence) think about it.
Kids, let me tell you about another so-called wicked guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was... I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too. Marge, you know what I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?
Homer