Apu: Mr Burns, just jump into the net!
Mr. Burns: What's in it for me?
Moe: Just jump!

• Permalink: Mr Burns, just jump into the net! What's in it for me? Just ...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Oh, I have 3 kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and 3 money!?

Homer

• Permalink: Oh, I have 3 kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and 3 m...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Rod: But users are losers!
Homer: You're confusing drugs with druuuuuuugs!

• Permalink: But users are losers! You're confusing drugs with druuuuuuugs!
• Added: December 22, 2010

Firefighter: You've horribly injured the whole fire department!
Homer: Who are you, a travel agent? 'Cause you're sending me on a guilt trip!
Firefighter: Sorry.

• Permalink: You've horribly injured the whole fire department! Who are you...
• Added: December 22, 2010

We're not thieves. We're scavengers. Like the beautiful vulture, or the heroic tapeworm, or America's sweetheart, the maggot.

Homer

• Permalink: We're not thieves. We're scavengers. Like the beautiful vulture,...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Why am I sleeping when right next door is every kid's dream - - a fat, suggestible, zombie dad?

Bart

• Permalink: Why am I sleeping when right next door is every kid's dream - - ...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Bart? Are you Bart Simpson? The kid who dropped that easy fly ball? You stink like a Dutchman's throwup!

LaBoot

• Permalink: Bart? Are you Bart Simpson? The kid who dropped that easy fly ba...
• Added: December 22, 2010

(to Helen) You put on the Michael Bolton CD, I'll put on my edible vestments!

Reverend Lovejoy

• Permalink: You put on the Michael Bolton CD, I'll put on my edible vestment...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Simpson drops the ball. And he kicks it. And kicks it again. It's horrible, but you can't take your eyes away. It's like watching a monkey swallow a hand grenade.

Announcer

• Permalink: Simpson drops the ball. And he kicks it. And kicks it again. It'...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Milhouse: I got it! I got it!
Bart: (catching the ball) I hogged it! I hogged it!

• Permalink: I got it! I got it! I hogged it! I hogged it!
• Added: December 22, 2010

Marge: You really want to make love on half a mattress behind a billboard?
Homer: It's like our honeymoon all over again! Aw, we even have the same bum looking at us.
Bum: I knew you kids would make it! (poking Homer's stomach) Man, you got fat.

• Permalink: You really want to make love on half a mattress behind a billboa...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Lisa: Bart, come with me. I'll take you to someone who will make you feel better.
Bart: Is it my rabbit, Cottontail? The one who went to live upstate?
Lisa: He died, Bart. Dad buried him in the backyard. But not in that order.

• Permalink: Bart, come with me. I'll take you to someone who will make you f...
• Added: December 22, 2010