It is with great pride that I place the safety of our city in the hands of the first four people who showed up.

Mayor Quimby

• Permalink: It is with great pride that I place the safety of our city in th...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Thank God there's a fire. Marge's birthday is coming up.

Homer

• Permalink: Thank God there's a fire. Marge's birthday is coming up.
• Added: December 22, 2010

(to Skinner) It would be a shame if the next fire you fought was in hell!

Apu

• Permalink: It would be a shame if the next fire you fought was in hell!
• Added: December 22, 2010

Apu: Are you suggesting we should steal?
Moe: Hey, it ain't stealing if you take it fast.

• Permalink: Are you suggesting we should steal? Hey, it ain't stealing if ...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Moe: You know, I think I'll volunteer, too.
Barney: Why'd you say "too"?
Moe: Well, I assume I'm not the first one.

• Permalink: You know, I think I'll volunteer, too. Why'd you say too? We...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Marge: Just come back alive, okay?
Homer: Don't tell me how to do my job!

• Permalink: Just come back alive, okay? Don't tell me how to do my job!
• Added: December 22, 2010

(bowing to Homer) King of thieves, we worship you!

Apu and Moe

• Permalink: King of thieves, we worship you!
• Added: December 22, 2010

Homer: Moe, can we talk?
Moe: Are you crazy? It's 500 degrees in here! (Checks thermometer) Oh no wait, it's only 495. What's on your mind?

• Permalink: Moe, can we talk? Are you crazy? It's 500 degrees in here! Oh...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Rod: But users are losers!
Homer: You're confusing drugs with druuuuuuugs!

• Permalink: But users are losers! You're confusing drugs with druuuuuuugs!
• Added: December 22, 2010

Marge: I'm sorry, Maggie, but growing up means giving up the things you love.
Grampa: It's true. I had to give up everything but raisins, and the doctor says even those are killing me. Sweet, plump coffin nails they are.

• Permalink: I'm sorry, Maggie, but growing up means giving up the things you...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Marge: Homer, I think you dominoed this.
Homer: That's ridiculous. If I had set up those dominoes I'd be wearing my special domino-setting-up knee pads.
(lifts pant legs to reveal he's wearing Dominex knee pads)

• Permalink: Homer, I think you dominoed this. That's ridiculous. If I had ...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Why am I sleeping when right next door is every kid's dream - - a fat, suggestible, zombie dad?

Bart

• Permalink: Why am I sleeping when right next door is every kid's dream - - ...
• Added: December 22, 2010